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Mary Worth, 5/12/19

Oh, man, check out that look of implacable determination on Mary’s face in the final panel. How dare someone break the heart of what’s-her-name, the lady who took Mary’s cat off her hands? “Arthur” will be reported, do you understand? He’ll be reported if Mary has to report him herself. And if the people she reports him to don’t take her seriously … well, then, she’s just going to have to ask to speak to their manager. Mary will stop at nothing.

The Phantom, 5/12/19

“They claimed to do these crimes to honor history!? A disgraceful argument, O Ghost Who Walks!”

“Ha-ha! I think they believed it, Guran. The criminal mind sets out to deceive others, but can be even more adept at deceiving itself! Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll head down to my treasure chambers, where my family has hoarded dozens of priceless historic artifacts that we’ve definitely acquired legitimately!”

Blondie, 5/12/19

It’s not clear what Blondie hates more: her family’s cooking, or foreigners.

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Mary Worth, 5/10/19

Aw, isn’t that sweet! Mary has decided to bring her former cat Libby a tuna casserole, and has to make a pro forma offer to share with Estelle, the human who agreed to contain Libby’s allergy-prompting dander in her apartment so as not to damper on Mary’s sex life. Sadly, Estelle is now feral with grief and isolation after spending weeks alone in her darkened apartment, so she lunges at Mary, desperate for human contact. And this, if I’m reading the angles here properly, is about to result in a tray full of gooey, piping-hot casserole hurled skyward, only to flop down on Mary and Estelle and inflict delicious second degree burns onto their faces. Libby will be happily eating tuna casserole off the floor long after Mary and Estelle have been taken to the hospital.

Blondie, 5/10/19

Gotta love how Dagwood doesn’t really have a sense of aesthetics or joy in watching a man practice his craft or anything like that. His favorite part is when they take it out of the oven, because that’s the part right before he gets to eat it. He wants to eat it. He needs to eat it. He hungerssssssss

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Mark Trail, 5/6/19

Yeah, off the top of my head, it could mean that you’re not in the valley you think you’re in, which means that you’re lost in an arid, hostile environment; or that you’ve time-travelled hundreds of thousands of years into the future, leaving behind everything you’ve ever known and possibly arriving to a world where humanity itself has ceased to exist. Either way, it seems pretty not great!

Blondie, 5/6/19

Based on everyone’s body language in panel two, the “best dream ever” Dagwood had was 100% a sex dream, right?