Archive: Blondie

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Blondie, 1/13/18

I’ve often wondered why Elmo spends so much time at the Bumstead home instead of his own, and now we have an answer: he’s seeking a refuge away from his violent, volatile father.

Beetle Bailey, 1/13/18

Otto seeks the sweet release of ~total annihilation of the physical self~

Pluggers, 1/13/18

A plugger’s “one for the road” is a number two!

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Shoe, 1/5/18

Say what you will about Shoe, but you have to admit that the strip really nails what it would look like if an anthropomorphic bird-man were suffering from crushing depression and just slouched down in a chair for hours too close to a TV showing awful programs that said bird-man despised but didn’t have the energy or self-respect to stop watching. The fact that this position makes it extra obvious that he’s wearing a suit jacket, shirt, shoes, and socks (leg warmers?) but no pants is an added bonus!

Blondie, 1/5/18

Call me a prude, but I don’t think Blondie and Dagwood should be doing weird sex stuff in front of their kids.

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Mary Worth, 12/15/17

I am as always extremely here for Mary’s consistent “age ain’t nothin’ but a number” attitude about the Zak-Iris romance. It is of course all the more hilariously deployed in reaction to Toby’s gender-normative discomfort, since her transformation from hipster Greenwich Village artist to bored California trophy wife and occasional sculptor of hideous animal-blobs began when she as a mere lass was swept off her feet by a drunken, late-middle-aged Ian. Anyway, Mary’s drive-by shaming of Toby’s hypocrisy is great, but I hope the real point of all this becomes clear when one of the hunky fortysomething venture capitalists investing in Zak’s dumb video game company comes calling and Mary’s like “Dr. Jeff? I don’t know anybody by that name!”

Gil Thorp, 12/15/17

Gil Thorp is by definition a comic strip that’s heavily invested in high school athletics, and I guess we’ve finally got to the point of this football season’s storyline, which is that, sure, sometimes promising young men play football and get concussions that turn their brains into goo, but what if they love playing football, and what about loyalty, discipline, and hard work, and what are the other options, huh? Some dork with a goatee trying to strongarm you into becoming a YouTube singing sensation??? This feminized PC culture makes me sick.

Mark Trail, 12/15/17

OK, fine, if we’re not going to get an extended storyline where Mark and Johnny actually perform a wildlife census, at least let us flash back to that time Mark got stranded in the Great Plains without any food and had to survive by making “prairie dog tacos.”

Blondie, 12/15/17

As Christmas approaches, please let’s remember the real reason for the season: goosing sales in order to shore up the collapsing retail sector by offering no-interest loans to an already over-indebted populace!

Six Chix, 12/15/17

hey this is a metaphor for the current housing affordability crisis but if you take it to its logical conclusion all those pricey new homes are made from human flesh OK enjoy your weekend everybody