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Blondie, 3/24/09

It looks like somebody got a copy of A Child’s Treasury Of Hobo Lore for his birthday! Yes, we all harken back to the Good Old Days of the Great Depression, when a quarter of the country was out of work, and starving men snuck onto filthy freight cars in a desperate search for gainful employment, or maybe just a warmer and drier climate more conducive to sleeping outside. The chances of getting your head bashed in by the railroad police were generally no better than one in four! And then there were the delightful hobo jungles, with the camaraderie, the music, the piles of garbage, the drunken brawls, the teenage boys trading sexual favors for protection — a great time had by all, and nobody with a care in the world! Well, don’t worry, Elmo, if things keep going like they’re going now, we’ll have those times back soon enough!

Hi and Lois, 3/24/09

Hi and Lois dares to show us the how truly grim the economic downturn is: not only are we losing work, and thus economic security, but we’re also losing the one excuse we have to avoid our hated homes and families.

Crankshaft, 3/24/09

The ’Shaft’s son-in-law is horrified by the terrible old man’s stated intention of living for another half-century. It looks like Operation Poisoned Hat is back on the agenda.

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Mark Trail, 3/22/09

Is this more Mark Trail misogyny? “Hey fellas, when these ‘roly-poly’ liberated broads want you to help with the kids, it sure does cut into your ‘extracurricular activities,’ amiright? By the way, these feminist grub-eating freaks are the ‘bald eagles of New Zealand,’ which tells you all you need to know about New Zealand. USA NUMBER 1!”

Blondie, 3/22/09

“Emily Armful”? “Clint Brawny”? I … I think that Dagwood and Blondie spent New Years at some kind of adult film industry event. I suppose that would be a particularly lucrative market for a caterer to try to break into.

Judge Parker, 3/22/09

In the final panel of today’s Judge Parker, we learn that this whole “changing my image and trying out for the cheerleading squad” routine has been a smokescreen; Sophie apparently intends to get her revenge on the popular girls who wronged her by simply murdering them. In fact, she’s so pleased with herself that she’s broken out into a little disco dance routine. “My en-e-mies won’t be stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive…”

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Blondie and The Lockhorns, 3/16/09

As a result of this confluence of comic themes, I thought perhaps that there was some sort of nationwide blood drive going on today, of which I would naturally be unaware because the very thought of a needle makes me weep like a pathetic little baby and vomit in terror. Still, about thirty seconds of Google searching (all the research I’m ever willing to do for anything, because I am one of The Kids Today) seems to rule out that idea, so I guess it’s just one of those occasional cartoon coincidences. That’s just as well, as neither today’s Blondie nor today’s Lockhorns would really inspire people to go give the life-saving gift of blood; instead, they’ll just associate this selfless act with their their terrible job or their soul-killing marriage, respectively.

Gasoline Alley, 3/16/09

It looks like there’s some middle-aged, somewhat hard of hearing, working-class romance brewing in Gasoline Alley! Which is great, as it will surely keep the loathsome Slim out of the narrative eye, but I find panel two, in which Gertie stares straight out at us and demands that we, the readers, acknowledge our attractiveness and update her on dinner, kind of unnerving. Perhaps if I still read comics in the paper, I’d have gotten the 3-D glasses that are an integral part of this very special Gasoline Alley experience.

Apartment 3-G, 3/16/09

“I hope you like olives!” Vaguely promising, but, you know, it’s still Tommie, so not sexy at all.

UPDATE: Sorry, kids, your faithful blogger was way behind and is sleepy — COTW coming tomorrow morning!