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Gasoline Alley, 3/31/20

I’m going to ignore panel three here, which makes the frankly offensive suggestion that Snuffy Smith somehow has an ownership claim over entirely common turns of English phrase, and instead focus on panel two, which I love very much. “Figure out an equitable way to cushion family farmers, who are committed to an increasingly economically unviable business model today, at the tail end of a century-long process of agricultural industrialization?” says Boog. “I doubt it! I’m, like, twelve years old!”

Dennis the Menace, 3/31/20

There’s actually a couple different kinds of menacing happening here, as Dennis dreams of a machine that can control the weather and thus impose its master’s will upon a terrified world, but is also stupid enough to think that that’s what he’s looking at right now.

Curtis, 3/31/20

While it’s not quite explicit here, I think we have to give Curtis the award for the first syndicated newspaper strip to acknowledge the coronavirus pandemic and the prolonged social distancing necessary to fight it. I don’t really have much of a joke here, other than that Curtis and Barry are definitely going to murder each other before this thing is done.

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Dick Tracy, 3/25/20

Wow, I’m not sure if Quiver’s little scheme here, which I assume entails having down-and-out folks collect spare change for a nonexistent charity, deserves the noble appellation of con. I expect a con to consist of complex wheels-within-wheels trickery as depicted in the movie The Sting, not a sad little attempt to make rent with a pile of quarters and nickels. Still, it’s nice to see that Shaky wants to get involved — clearly he’s one of those guys who always needs to be productive and can’t sit still and relax a little, despite the fact that he is (and I can’t emphasize this enough) dying.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/25/20

Man, I remember when weddings between members of two rival Hootin’ Holler clans resulted in violence, not passive aggression. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Snuffy Smith is losing its edge.

Curtis, 3/25/20

Not sure what denomination church the Wilkins family attends, but making up fake scripture for personal financial gain is pretty much always considered heresy, right? Never would’ve pegged Curtis for a heretic. You hate to see it.

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Crankshaft, 2/15/20

We’ve already seen the 10-years-ahead version of Max in Funky Winkerbean, still running the barely solvent Valentine, so I guess, despite the heavy air of foreboding looming over the final panel of this strip, that he isn’t going to die in a ditch on this dangerous night ride. I can’t remember if we saw Hannah and/or their future child during that sequence, though. Maybe she’s going to die in childbirth? Right there, in the theater? Because Crankshaft doesn’t care about his own safety or the safety of others? It would sure make the failure of the Valentine, his last connection to his dead beloved, all the more poignant!

Curtis, 2/15/20

The “humor” in today’s strip, which involves Greg making a joke, then Curtis getting that joke, then Greg making another joke, is barely worth discussing here, but I do want to say that the overarching plot of the past few weeks has been that Greg threw his back out and is in a lot of pain, and never has the art sold this concept more aggressively than today. The man looks properly miserable in a very visceral way, and I respect it.