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Blondie, 12/4/07

Ha ha! Dagwood got distracted by a giant weiner!

No, really. He did. That’s how they spell it on the damn weiner, too.

Curtis, 12/4/07

I haven’t read Cosby’s book, but I share the opinion of copy editing guru Bill Walsh that its title really, really needs a comma between “on” and “people”.

Mark Trail, 12/4/07

Hmm … motive … opportunity … bullet came from his rifle … has anyone considered the possibility that Johnny is, you know, actually guilty? HE HAS A MUSTACHE, PEOPLE! DO I HAVE TO DRAW YOU A DIAGRAM?

Marmaduke, 12/4/07

Marmaduke’s owners are about to find themselves ankle-deep in urine.

For Better Or For Worse, 12/4/07

NNNGGHGGNGNGNNNGGGGH

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Panel from Apartment 3-G, 11/18/07

“Well, not Hollywood per se; more like the San Fernando Valley. But close enough, right?”

One of the many joys of reading Apartment 3-G is seeing the art make all the characters squarer than their actions would suggest by about a factor of ten. In what other universe would the dude at the right — with his Brylcreemed hair, dorktastic mustache, and bright blue sweater over a white dress shirt and brown tie — be a heartbreaking, lothario bad boy?

Panels from Curtis, 11/18/07

I’m sure it’s lucrative work, but I’m really glad I’m not Curtis’ court-appointed psychologist.

Panel from Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/18/07

Yes, Niki … exciting … more … to … God, I can’t even type this anymore.

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Hey kids, sorry for my late and lame updates so far this week … I’ve been guest-blogging at Wonkette, which is fun but kind of emotionally draining. I’m done, though, so I promise that today will be the nadir of lameness. I don’t even have the energy to deal with rape humor in Crankshaft or Rusty’s ass in Judge Parker, but I urge to check out the thoughtful comments on both on yesterday’s post.

Curtis, 10/24/07

Actual religious affiliation of past stars:

• Lucille Ball: One of inner circle of the first six Scientologists.
• John Wayne: Zoroastrian all the way, baby!
• Jerry Mathers: Early proponent of wicca. Felt the beaver was his “power animal.”

Herb and Jamaal, 10/24/07

I’ve tried before to distill Herb and Jamaal to its squishy, nonspecific essence, but today’s installment convinces me that I have more work to do. Here’s my best shot:

Herb (or Jamaal): “Hey, Jamaal (or Herb), something incredibly nonspecific that seems to vaguely relate to pop culture!”

Jamaal (or Herb): “Response that implies I know what you’re talking about even though that’s really not possible … stretched over two panels!”

Jamaal (or Herb) or Herb (or Jamaal): [Wry thought balloon.]

Then, of course, comes the butt sex.

They’ll Do It Every Time, 10/24/07

Philosophical question: Is “the urge” still “the urge” if it doesn’t contain the words “the urge”? Whichever way, there’s something delightfully unsettling about this one. “I have plenty of time to scream … NOW THAT I’VE KILLED THEM BOTH! MU HA HA HA!”