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Judge Parker, 7/9/06

What I’m about to say here, combined with my earlier assertion that Randy Parker was flirting with his own stepmother (and, well, just about every other post I’ve ever written) will probably lead you to believe that I have a filthy, filthy mind, but I think that the sexual tension between Raju and Abbey is really palpable here. I mean, look at the eyes she’s giving him even before he proclaims that it gives him pleasure to “help.” Sophie is sent packing almost immediately thereafter, and Raju is about to discover that at least some women in America appreciate a guy with brains and don’t care so much about teeth.

Mary Worth, 7/9/06

Is it just me, or is Mary looking a little … tarted up in the last panel? I’m guessing this is supposed to be “Kelrast-cam,” showing just what it is that he sees that he likes so much.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/9/06

Mrs. C. has a theory about what exactly little Sarah is suffering from: Munchausen syndrome by proxy. Think about it: her parents are both medical pros with access to reams of incomprehensible medical mumbo-jumbo, and they have absolutely nothing in common except their daughter, and they only seem to pay attention to her when she’s sick. I’m just saying. Hopefully Abbey the Wonderdog will paw the DSM-IV open to the correct page in time!

Curtis, 7/9/06

OK, so there’s no sexy ladies in this strip, but I’d like to point out that the baby at the far right of the last panel’s Hieronymus Bosch-esque suburban hellscape is sitting in a puddle of his own urine. I recognize that this is not in any way a sexy lady equivalent, but I thought it worthy of mention. Also, I think “stickleback” sounds like an extremely obscure slur against some unidentifiable ethnic group. “Hey, stickleback! Why don’t you go back where you came from?“

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Crankshaft, 7/8/06

Saturday’s Crankshaft is about nuns going wild.

Curtis, 7/8/06

Saturday’s Curtis is about “milking snakes.” If you know what I mean. And I think you do.

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Shoe, 5/16/06

Do you think that if you just drew all the characters in your comic as birds, day after day after day, you’d eventually forget that they were birds? Do you think that eventually you’d get so bird-blind that you’d think it was perfectly all right to go with a joke that conjures up the horrific image of birds gleefully pecking at the fried carcasses of other birds in a world where cannibalism isn’t just accepted, but celebrated by symbolics acts of the state legislature?

Because it’s not all right. Do you hear me? It’s just not.

Curtis, 5/16/06

Exactly how old are Curtis and his school buddies supposed to be? I always had them pegged as middle schoolers. I figure Curtis is 12, and Derek and “Onion” are maybe 13 or 14. Thus, my immediate reaction to this strip wasn’t “Derek and ‘Onion’ stole a car” but “Derek and ‘Onion’ can drive?” Maybe it’s just me.

I’m convinced that the quote marks around “Onion” are actually part of the gentleman’s legal name, so he doesn’t have to fear the wrath of Finger Quotin’ Margo. Others aren’t so lucky.

Wizard of Id, 5/16/06

Oh, Mrs. of Id, I wish you hadn’t gone and done that. Now she’ll … I mean, I try to stop her but she … oh dear …

She just feels very strongly about it, you see.