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Mary Worth, 7/21/22

A lot of you commentors have interpreted my endless rage against Jared as indicating that I somehow don’t think Dawn is a bad girlfriend. Dawn is in fact a bad girlfriend! I just don’t mention it that much because the behavior in the strip that’s supposed to indicate that Dawn is a bad girlfriend is in fact bad behavior, whereas the behavior in the strip that’s supposed to indicate that Jared is a great guy is in face incredibly off-putting. Anyway, Dawn is getting the business from her friend Cathy, who’s telling Dawn what’s what in between enormous bites of salad. We’ve already established that this Cathy is at least the second Cathy Dawn’s been friends with, so maybe we’re about to get to the part where Dawn friend-dumps her and moves on to another Cathy who hopefully will never call her out on her bullshit, and the cycle can begin anew.

Daddy Daze, 7/21/22

Wow, it turns out that the Daddy Daze daddy’s goth pal is actually his next door neighbor. Which tracks, honestly? Can you imagine him maintaining a relationship with someone he doesn’t just run into accidentally all the time?

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/29/22

This is definitely one of the on-purpose funniest Rex Morgan strips in years, made funnier by its sort of shambolic, shaggy dog structure, where just a lot of random things happen and there isn’t any real point to any of it. Turns out the police force put their two oldest, creakiest cops on the costumed vigilante case, which is too bad because he used his magic slippery soap to completely incapacitate both of them and amble slowly away, holding a dude at gunpoint. Then you’ve got green sweater guy, who’s been downing beers at the bar for who knows how long, but finally realizes that his car alarm is going off (the car alarm must’ve been going off for the last week’s worth of strips, by the way) and stumbles over there to look dumbly at his windshield. The fact that Local Thug #2 is a little charmed by the random nickname one of these cops just gave him from a prone position is icing on the cake. Kudos all around!

Hi and Lois, 5/29/22

I’ve often wondered why Irma, who obviously despises her husband, stays with him. Turns out it’s because she’s economically dependent on him and has no choice. Grim stuff!

Daddy Daze, 5/29/22

“It ruins the soup. The soup is my life, in this metaphor. You’ve ruined my life! God, that feels good to get that off my chest.”

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Daddy Daze, 5/21/22

I generally think of piles of leaves as pretty ephemeral things, but apparently the one next to the Daddy Daze Daddy’s house has been there mouldering and rotting long enough that he expects his ex, who does not (and perhaps never did?) live there, to know about it, which may say a lot about why they broke up.

Funky Winkerbean, 5/21/22

THE COMIC STRIP MARVIN [juvenile, anti-intellectual]: Haw haw, this baby peed in his diaper!

THE COMIC STRIP FUNKY WINKERBEAN [imparting profound, soul-burdening wisdom]: Someday — perhaps someday soon — you will grow old and die, and as part of that process, you will inevitably piss yourself, so you’d better buy some diapers now to prepare.

Dick Tracy, 5/21/22

“I’ve decide to go by a norman human name and stop dressing in impractical knight’s garb so I cHAHA JUST KIDDING I’M A DICK TRACY CHARACTER, THIS IS OUR ENTIRE DEAL”

Slylock Fox, 5/21/22

Slylock Fox’s Which Two Scenes Are Exactly Alike? Presents: FRANKENBART: The Frankenstein Made Out Of Bart Simpsons’ Corpse