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Archive: Daddy Daze

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This is day 60 of this, folks. Ian moved out weeks ago

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Mary Worth, 8/5/20

Hey, have you been wondering what Toby’s been up to in the two months since we last saw her, back when she was expressing mild trepidation over having agreed to make a dessert for the next Charterstone meeting? Well, turns out she’s been 100% fucking up the dessert she agreed to make for the next Charterstone meeting! The best part is definitely Toby looking at her kitchen iPad or whatever that is and yelling “What the…?” like she’s shocked to learn her goal is supposed to be a loaf of some sort rather than the two big bowls of goo she’s managed to produce, but I really enjoy the little details, like the fact that she appears to have just cracked a raw egg onto her countertop and is it letting it sit there breeding salmonella.

Daddy Daze, 8/5/20

Obviously it’s just yet another instance of slapdash syndicate coloring, but Daddy Daze Daddy’s icy white skin in panel one makes it look like he was under some kind of wizard’s curse that can only be lifted by an baby’s smooch. It’s pretty creepy! Not as creepy as the overall premise of the strip, which is that a terribly sad and isolated single parent spends all his time projecting his increasingly manic and baroque fantasies onto his preverbal infant, but creepy nonetheless.

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Look, June saw the x-ray later and she just kind of extrapolated from there, OK

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Daddy Daze, 7/8/20

Not that there’s much competition, but Daddy Daze Daddy’s Goth Pal is far and away my favorite recurring Daddy Daze character. Like, Daddy Daze Daddy (he has a name, but my brain refuses to retain it and honestly I respect that) has been driven into some kind tight-wound gleeful mania by the pressures of single parenthood, but Goth Pal is always looking on the darkest side of life possible, like he is today, when he mournfully announces that those who have chosen to reproduce are carefully nurturing their own destruction. It’s been foretold in prophecy, but like Cronus in Greek myth, we cannot avoid our fate, no matter how hard we try.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/8/20

Hey, remember how Rex was telling the story about how he and June met to Sarah but he was telling it all boring so June seized control of the narrative? Well, now the plot has moved to a place where June wasn’t even there to see it happen but, uh, we’re just moving forward anyway. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that I’m more heavily invested in the layered narrative structure of a syndicated soap opera comic strip plot than anyone involved in the actual production of said comic strip, but I’m still pretty mad about it.

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This is probably the most Dagwood bare foot action we’ve ever seen and I’m not OK with it

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Blondie, 5/3/20

Well, it’s not surprising that the Bumsteads’ suburb, where packs of semi-feral dogs roam the streets at night, has been a little laissez-faire in the public health front, but it looks like it’s finally under enforced social distancing rules. And much as I enjoy Mr. Dithers’s trademark dollar-sign PJs, I really respect Cora’s decision to maintain some shred of civilization and put on her pearls for a day — week? month? — when she’s definitely not going anywhere.

Daddy Daze, 5/3/20

Years ago, my wife and brother-in-law and I were discussing the possibility of training monkeys to work in retail establishments, and I said one of the downsides would be the pooping, for which diapers would be only a temporary solution, and he replied with a sentence that has been burned into my brain ever since: “Once we teach a monkey how to change another monkey’s diapers, it’ll be all monkeys up in here.” In truth, isn’t that the story of the human race? Aren’t we the monkeys who have learned to change each other’s diapers? What I’m trying to say is these children will soon eliminate the last thing they need the Daddy Daze Daddy for, which will blessedly remove any justification for his continued presence in their lives.