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Hi and Lois, 10/30/22

I know it’s not considered “woke” to define a woman in terms of her husband, but I think we can all agree that the Bride of Frankenstein is almost entirely known for being married to Frankenstein’s monster. It’s right there in her name! So Hi’s choice to dress up as Bela Lugosi’s Dracula is an interesting one, and seems to tell us a lot about what kind of party they’re going to where kids are very much not welcome. (It’s a swingers party, and the theme is classic Universal horror characters, just so we’re absolutely clear on that.)

Shoe, 10/30/22

Look, I’m on the record as being very concerned about Skyler’s home life, so maybe I’m being oversensitive, but I think if your friend tells you that being (presumably) orphaned and forced to live with a neglectful, aging uncle is “one big horror movie,” I’d express some sincere concern about his safety rather than just cracking wise. On the other hand, it’s pretty clear that the friend is right here and the Perfesser is dead, so Skyler may be destined for a group home situation that may frankly be even worse than what he’s gone through so far.

Mary Worth, 10/30/22

Good (?) news, everyone! Zak isn’t going to fall to his death! Iris (and God, I guess) saved him! And she’s definitely going to marry him now! She’s learned that life is truly unpredictable, and while it seemed unlikely that he would predecease her, inheritance is a lot simpler between spouses and he’s got a lot of money, so why take that chance?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/30/22

Is my pro Mud Mountain Murphy position still going to hold now that I’ve learned that he’s horny? Tentatively yes, but I’ll be keeping a close eye on the situation to see how it develops.

Daddy Daze, 10/30/22

“Anyway, you know why we broke up? It’s so I can just go inside and leave him there and not have to deal with this at all.”

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Hi and Lois, 10/8/22

A fun fact is that the Major League Baseball postseason expanded to a multi-round playoff format in 1969, and there’s no timeline where Hi and Lois are middle-aged parents of a teen and infant in the year 2022 but they were also alive then, which means that Lois is engaging in some nostalgia for a constructed past she can’t even personally remember. “Oh, I wish I lived back in the 1950s or ’60s, when men paid attention to their wives instead of dumb old sports!” she thinks, in one of the most impressively delusional episodes I’ve seen in a syndicated newspaper comic strip.

Gasoline Alley, 10/8/22

Gasoline Alley has spent weeks now, like genuine weeks, my God it’s gone on forever, on this boogie-woogie piano guy, and I get the feeling that he’s a real person or closely based one, but honestly I cannot summon the energy to figure out who. Anyway, as the one strip I deigned to share with you should indicate, his whole deal is about how playing music is a fun, joyful activity for everyone! Thank goodness Rufus and Joel are here to remind you that the real world of music is brutal and violent, and no place for children or the weak.

Daddy Daze, 10/8/22

LOOK THIS BABY DOES NOT KNOW WORDS, LET ALONE LETTERS. HE IS NOT MAKING UP NEW LETTERS. HE JUST ISN’T.

I REFUSE TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS CHARADE ANY LONGER. GOOD DAY TO YOU ALL

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Blondie, 9/28/22

Look, I don’t want to dwell on the technical details here, which seem to be based on the misconception that “well you look at Instagram on your phone so your account must be on your phone somewhere.” I instead want to engage with this strip on a narrative level. What exactly is the dangerous stalker planning to do with Elmo’s account? Post declarations of love from him to her? Send poison pen DMs to his friends and her potential romantic rivals? This is a significant escalation from snarky emojis and honestly he should be telling his parents about it, not some random unrelated neighbor-adult who sees the story primarily as being about the Kids Today, Who Are Not As Good As We Were When We Were Kids.

Daddy Daze, 9/28/22

Wait, did we know that the Daddy Daze daddy’s goth friend’s son was a teen? This is really opening up a lot of fun possibilities, honestly. I can’t decide if this kid is himself a goth, like a mini-me version of his dad, or instead has gone full on jock or preppie, as an act of defiance. Anyway, check out panel four here, where the dude has decided that blinding himself with scalding hot coffee is the logical next step in his story.

Hi and Lois, 9/28/22

Absolutely love that Hi has decided to rebel against the total overload we’re facing in the age of Too Much Streaming Content by engaging with the world as he assumes our primitive ancestors did: by reading a print magazine about golf. It’s clear from his facial expression that it didn’t work, but I’m proud of him for making the attempt.