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Archive: Dennis the Menace

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This Mary Worth storyline is brought to you in partnership with the Lift From The Knees Foundation

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Mary Worth, 7/5/16

This plot is just getting underway but Tommy the (ex-)Tweaker is really cementing his place as one of the Greatest Ancillary Mary Worth Characters of all time. There are a lot of ways this could go; I’m thinking that in Tommy’s role as the symbol of society’s ills, he’ll become addicted to opioid painkillers in the aftermath of this tragic moving accident. But for now, let’s just enjoy the sight of Tommy writhing theatrically while Mary and Iris shoot meaningful “Forget everything you saw here” glances at the poor groundskeeper.

Dennis the Menace, 7/5/16

Dennis seeing instruments that product sweet, sweet music and imagining them as machines for firing hot explosive metal death at terrified human beings? Menacing indeed.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/5/16

“Jughaid was jess’ jokin’,” Loweezy protested, as the townfolk descended on their house with torches. “He … we wuz jess’ talkin’ about sneezin’ and such!” But the rule was ironclad. If anyone in the community acquired the malady known only as “th’ sickness,” that family and their home must be cleansed with fire. They all moved grimly forward, but nobody said a word.

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Could he go to jail Is that too much to hope for?

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Marvin, 6/16/16

Marvin is obviously the most loathsome character in the comic strip Marvin by a long ways. But let’s not forget that his smug terrible father is no prize either! Jeff appears to be the primary breadwinner for his household of four adults and an infant; Marvin’s mother apparently used to be a romance novelist but now is incapable of feeling anything but a sort of dull numbness, and now has to resort to churning out short-form humor content for cash, which, believe me, isn’t all that lucrative. Plus I think Marvin’s grandfather is a Wal-Mart greeter or something? At any rate, Jeff’s generic white-collar office job presumably provides the bulk of the family’s income plus its health insurance coverage, which is why he maybe should’ve thought twice before embezzling from the company! I was about to express glee about the Miller family’s downward spiral into poverty and shame, but then I realized that this will give the strip opportunities for jokes about desperately trying to save money by somehow washing Marvin’s foul diapers, so never mind.

Judge Parker, 6/16/16

Remember, whether it’s Sophie spying on Neddy making out with some boy who I don’t remember and cheerfully asking about “that tongue thing,” or Sam and Abbey watching from the shadows with mounting excitement as Neddy says a lingering goodnight to some boy who I don’t remember, or Sam and Abbey trying to analyze Neddy’s degree of sexual satisfaction as she comes home after sunup from a night with a boy who I someday won’t remember, one thing is clear: living vicariously through Neddy’s erotic life is one of the Spencer-Driver family’s top pastimes, just behind being given money for no reason.

Dennis the Menace, 6/16/16

Say what you will about Dennis, but this is a pretty darn menacing way to let a woman know that her husband of many years just died in front of the TV.

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A bad case of the Mondays (in the INFINITE DARKNESS)

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Mark Trail, 6/13/16

Our long national cave-nightmare may finally be over: Mark, Gabe, and Carina have found what appears to be an underwater passage out, and Mark is going to attempt to swim to daylight, and then come back, somehow. If he doesn’t come back, well, he can’t tell them what choices to make. Should they draw straws to see who gets eaten during the inevitable turn to cannibalism? Should they live in the cave forever, eventually breeding a race of blind, cave-adapted mole-people? Mark is not here to judge. Mark knows they have to do what’s right for them, alone in that cave.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/13/16

Well, it seems that this was a way for the cast and crew of the current Starbuck Jones reboot to assemble all the old men who used to be fanboys back in the day, to attempt to cheer up bitter old former Starbuck Jones actor Cliff Anger (and also presumably build positive media buzz and word of mouth for said reboot among said fanboys). Cliff was briefly thrilled, but it’s good to see that when faced with actual people who enjoyed his work, he’s retreating back into heavy-lidded contempt.

Dennis the Menace, 6/13/16

How much do I love the expression on Henry’s face here? “That’s … that’s what you’ve got? That’s the most menacing thing you have to say to me this morning? Christ, it’s gonna be a long week.”