The Comics Curmudgeon

Main Menu

Social Media

Archive: Dennis the Menace

Comments are closed

Philosophical Friday

Post Content

Dennis the Menace, 1/15/16

Ah, Dennis, never letting any of us forget that every day we’re the oldest we’ve ever been, every day our youth slips further and further behind us, every day is another step in the ceaseless march towards death. A+ menacing, old chum.

Family Circus, 1/15/16

Billy, meanwhile, comes up far short in today’s Towheaded Child Philosophizing In One Panel competition. You run it under water and rub it a little, jackass. Really looking forward to more of your lame-ass comedy stylings tomorrow, when you’ll stand out in the driveway wonder aloud why you park there instead of out on the parkway, it really makes you think.

Mary Worth, 1/15/16

Look, I’ve been doing this for, what, eleven and a half years now, and you know that Mary Worth is my North Star, right? It’s the thing without which this here blog wouldn’t have happened. I know this is an insane comparison, but David Bowie died earlier this week, an event that (and I only realized this the moment I heard about it) I assumed would never come, and it really brought home the fact that all things are ephemeral. We lost Apartment 3-G just a few months ago, so let’s … let’s just enjoy this. Let’s just enjoy a meddling old woman offering to buy a shiny new watch for a girl who has psychic powers in her tummy brain, and the little girl being so excited because, you know, Macy’s! What little girl doesn’t dream of someday owning one of the many fine timepieces Macy’s sells? Let’s just drink it in. We’re not going to have it forever.

Comments are closed

Mostly terrible children Tuesday

Post Content

Dennis the Menace, 1/5/16

“Look, mom, it’s not that I don’t appreciate you reading bedtime stories to me. It’s just that books are boring and TV is better, and I have no intention of learning how to read or engaging in any sort of entertainment that requires conscious effort on my part. Why, if my own brain could just auto-generate amusing imagery for me, that’d be the best! Dreams are great and all, but they only work when I’m asleep. Are there any pills I could take or anything along those lines that could create dream-like images for me? I’m definitely going to spend most of my energy as an adult looking for them!” As ever, A+ menacing work, as Alice’s look of concern makes very clear.

Gasoline Alley, 1/5/16

Gasoline Alley just spent like five God-damned weeks going on and on about scrapbooking, so the least they can do is linger a bit here and let us enjoy a few days of Boog’s parents sweatily trying and failing to work up the nerve to explain sex to him.

Pluggers, 1/5/16

Pluggers are horrified by the idea of “ingredients” that you “cook” to produce “meals,” and prefer to only buy things you can consume right out of the box or bag without even heating up.

Comments are closed

She’s always been the caretaker

Post Content

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/4/16

It’s honestly going to be pretty hilarious when Sarah brings her terrible personality to school and discovers that normals won’t like it, or her. I’m sure she’ll eventually use her mob ties and/or powers of psychokinesis to cow the many enemies she’ll make, but until then let’s just enjoy this pointless game of topper she’s playing with the headmaster’s assistant with the admittedly dumb nickname. “Being a nurse is much harder and more important than being a teacher. I’m skipping a grade so I can spend time with as few teachers as possible! Plus my mom had a baby. Did your mom have a baby? Probably not!”

Dennis the Menace, 1/4/16

The children are right to laugh, Hot Dog. Breakdancing is a trend that was played out decades ago.

Marvin, 1/4/16

At last, Marvin’s parents have figured out what he’s good for: as an instrument of revenge against a world that has repeatedly wronged them.