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Mark Trail, 11/6/10

Mark Trail generally doesn’t do cliffhangers per se, preferring to let its narrative unspool in a steady, undifferentiated flow of lunacy. But this Saturday strip is enough to get even those sad souls who don’t spend their weekends thinking about Mark Trail eager for Monday’s installment. Future Governor Frank’s 100 percent foolproof scheme to run Mark off the road to his death, an act which nobody could possibly trace back to him unless they thought about what’s happened in this plot so far for more than two or three seconds, seems to have hit a snag. But what could it be that’s elicited such a mega-bolded WHAT TH’– from our crafty politician? Could Mark’s car be sprouting a protective fist of justice, hurtling out of the front grill so powerfully that not even Frank’s half-ton truck will survive impact?

Dennis the Menace, 11/6/10

By promoting the so-called “Daylight Savings Time” that the secret One World Government has imposed upon us to crush free societies everywhere, Dennis has achieved his highest levels of menace yet.

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Family Circus and Dennis the Menace, 10/29/10

These two parents-on-the-floor panels were immediately adjacent to each other on my Chron page today, which allowed me to quickly come up with a game I like to call “Who’s the sociopath?” In the Family Circus it’s clearly Daddy, who’s sporting a sick little smile as he allows Jeffy’s utter terror and desperation to go on much longer than anyone should be comfortable with. (It should come as no surprise that budding sadist Billy can barely contain his glee at his brother’s panic.) Dennis, meanwhile, isn’t even deriving any joy from having literally knocked his mother out of her shoes and fused her brains into a molten lump. “Mommy isn’t moving anymore,” he tells his father, stone-faced. “Will we need to get a new mommy?”

Pluggers, 10/29/10

It’s true: blanket-stealing is only perpetrated by honest heartland folks of the sort depicted in Pluggers. We coastal elitists don’t worry about it, because we sleep under mile-long blankets woven out of feathers stolen from the wings of angels.

IMPORTANT SOCIAL NETWORKING UPDATE! You might recall from Wednesday that Mayor Dalton’s prostate has its own Pacebook page. It now also has its own page on Facebook, a somewhat more popular social networking service. Feel free to “like” it, or whatever you kids do!

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Dennis the Menace, 10/22/10

Ha ha! It’s funny because Mr. Wilson’s life has been an endless series of disappointments, which is why he’s so angry all the time!

Mark Trail, 10/22/10

Oh, come on, Mark, you get a chance to punch an animal-hating baddie in the face two or three times a year. Don’t expect us to play along like this isn’t a thing that you do, constantly. (“Dear Punching Magazine: I never thought this would happen to me…”)

Pluggers, 10/22/10

I don’t see any DTV converter box anywhere in this panel, so I’m guessing that our poor plugger has been fiddling with the various knobs on that ol’ TV for about 14 months now. Not constantly, obviously; but every once in a while, when he’s feeling particularly bored and lonely, he turns on the old set, sees there’s still nothing but snow on the screen, and jiggers the buttons, thinking this time, maybe this time he’ll get his stories back. And the game. I just want to watch the game in peace, lord, is that so much to ask? Maybe it’s the horizontal. Did I try playing with the horizontal last time? Maybe I didn’t, and this time it’ll work.