Archive: Dennis the Menace

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Mary Worth, 6/10/20

Well, it looks like Saul has allowed his … first-cousin-once-removed-in-law? … to browbeat him into serving as Madi’s guardian for the summer. What do you think their first fight is going to be about? Since Saul forced Greta to put on a bow tie to match his own even before he got her home from the shelter, I assume it will be about Madi’s refusal to wear a bow tie. Presumably she’ll eventually put it on, signaling the resolution of this storyline’s conflict, after she’s figured out how to make it “goth.”

Dennis the Menace, 6/10/20

Casually letting Mr. Wilson know that amazing things are happening all around him, but that he’s so steeped in anger and poisonous nostalgia that he’ll never be able to truly appreciate them, is by far the most menacing thing Dennis has ever done.

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Dennis the Menace, 6/4/20

This is definitely the most erotic Dennis the Menace panel I can remember seeing in some time! I guess the joke is that Alice is exhausted because she has no access to childcare, which is why she’s been on her feet all day and also why Dennis is sitting there staring at her while she’s in the dentist chair, but the way she and the dentist are gazing into each other’s eyes definitely seems like things are about to get real romantic real fast, which is why it’s so unsettling that Dennis is sitting there staring at her. Couldn’t she have just left him at the Wilsons’ house? Like, he clearly spends several hours a day there anyway.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/4/20

Ha ha, Les did forget that his own wife works at the same school where he works, probably, but honestly, did she even need some sort of inside information to know that Les is having a bad day? Bad days are the only kind of days Les has. He needs them, to live.


UPDATE ON MY LIVE COMEDY SHOW THAT WAS SCHEDULED TO HAPPEN TOMORROW: We the comics who were going to be in that show do not feel like it’s a particularly “funny” time to be in America right now! We’re postponing it to a later date. If you’ve written to me asking for the Zoom URL for the show, I have your email and I’ll send it when I have a new date/and time! And if you want to be on that list, email me at

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Mark Trail, 5/24/20

Hey, kids, you might think that Communism in general, and longtime Hungarian Socialist Workers’ Party General Secretary János Kádár in particular, are pretty cool. But would any just political system have made these adorable fuzzy pigs into an endangered species? Say what you will about the authoritarian tendencies of current Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orbán, but the mangalitsa is back, baby!

Funky Winkerbean, 5/24/20

The current story of Hollywood is that mid-budget movies have essentially ceased to exist, which means that directors usually leap directly from tiny indies to huge comic-book blockbusters; this has been the trajectory of Taika Waititi (who went from twee, offbeat New Zealand comedies to Thor: Ragnarok) and Colin Trevorrow (who made Safety Not Guaranteed for $750,000 and then did Jurassic World and almost got to do a Star Wars). But in the Funkyverse, where everything is backwards and people apparently find Les Moore not just likable but admirable, Mason is going to convince his pal to go the other way, from making millions from Starbuck Jones, an exciting movie that apparently many people enjoyed, to directing the maudlin, unwatchable Lisa’s Story, sure, why not!

Dennis the Menace, 5/24/20

Guys, today’s Dennis the Menace, in which Dennis never appears and his parents are the real dog-neglecting menace, tantalizes us with the vision of a version of this strip that’s just day after day of Mr. Wilson coming up with petty acts of revenge on everyone who’s ever wronged him, and honestly? I’ve never wanted anything more.