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Family Circus, 1/30/21

Shoutout to Big Daddy Keane’s mom for pulling a true mother-in-law power move here. “Oh, is my son annoying you? Do you want him to die? Is that what you want? You want to be a widow like me? Duly noted, dear, duly noted.”

Dennis the Menace, 1/30/21

“Henry, I know all we usually ever talk about is your idiot kid, but you do you ever think about how we’re all going to dead someday, and soon? Like, ever really think about it?”

Panels from Hagar the Horrible, 1/30/21

As we continue the saga of how the syndicated Hagar the Horrible comic strip relates to the Christianization of Scandinavia, we learn that one guy who’s really sticking by the old gods is Lucky Eddie. And he’s being real unpleasantly showy about it, honestly!

Mary Worth, 1/30/21

YES

FINALLY

THIS IS IT

THE MOMENT EVERYONE FINALLY GETS SICK OF WILBUR’S SHIT

I love that Mary is so mad that she’s storming out of her own apartment

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Mother Goose and Grimm, 1/15/22

One of the last pure pleasures of social media is when some bizarre bit of pop culture ephemera from decades past gets surfaced and passed around, and last summer many of us had some good fun with “Inhalants,” a song from McGruff the Crime Dog’s 1987 anti-drug album that, as a viral tweet put it, “sounds like New Order.”

So, I have one note on this otherwise amazing song, which is that “inhalants” is a pretty technical term and probably most kids don’t know that it means, like, huffing paint or sniffing glue, but otherwise this a banger of a track that manages to pack a lot of emotions in to the gimmicky McGruff voice, and I immediately thought of it when I saw today’s Mother Goose and Grimm. This McGruff? The one with the thousand-yard stare and a barful of empty shot glasses in front of him? That’s the guy who sings “they can break you in two” about inhalants and you can tell he knows exactly what he’s talking about.

Family Circus, 1/15/22

Guys, I’ve been spending a lot of time staring at this Family Circus, in which Billy eagerly stares at his mother in a low-cut dress and talks about people getting their eyes knocked out, and trying to come up with an Oedipus joke and I just can’t quite make the pieces fit together. I feel like I’ve let you all down on this one and promise to do better in the future.

Dennis the Menace, 1/15/22

A child amazed by the number of screens in a multiplex but angry that no Western films are on offer? The only menace he represents is one to the integrity of the space-time continuum if he ever returns to his native year of 1953 with knowledge of the future!

Mary Worth, 1/15/22

“Well, he didn’t jump, exactly … here, let me show you the video, but hold on a second while I queue up ‘Yakety Sax.’”

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Dennis the Menace, 12/22/21

I’m sorry, I absolutely refuse to believe that a kid who goes to church on the regular would know what a “manger” is but also think Jesus’s name was “Wayne.” The only menacing thing here is Dennis’s obvious cognitive deficits.

Hi and Lois, 12/22/21

I guess the joke here is supposed to be that because Foofram Industries didn’t have a holiday party last year, this year’s is extra lit, and horny? I have a hard time squaring Thirsty’s line about not needing to spike the punch with the little bubble and asterisk things floating around amongst the partygoers, which are generally used in the comics to denote drunkenness, though I suppose in this case they could be representing the omicron variant of the novel coronavirus.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/22/21

“They’ll find something soon enough, because — and we’re married, so I know what I’m talking about here — you’re not actually very interesting.”