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Dick Tracy, 11/25/25

Ah, man, remember the Dick Tracy vampire car storyline from 2016? It was a fun one, and I personally would follow the principle of “don’t stop in the middle of your not-so-interesting storyline to remind your readers of a more interesting one,” but I’m not in charge of Dick Tracy. I do appreciate that advances in solid state storage have allowed Dick to keep a 3D image of a cool vampire car on his watch, for him to amuse himself with whenever the conversation about clown crime gets tedious.

Mary Worth, 11/25/25

It appears that Mary Worth takes place in a universe very much like our own, with the crucial difference that television never invented the concept of a studio audience or a laugh track; instead, the characters themselves laugh in an aggressive, artificial way to let the audience know that a joke has just happened.

Blondie, 11/25/25

When Dagwood says “Are you ready to take Thanksgiving to another level?”, it should come as no surprise that it’s a sex thing. The hat stays on, ladies.

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Dick Tracy, 11/24/25

“Can’t believe this clown would rather cut people’s brake lines for money instead of building elaborate funny cars for the mafia. Nobody wants to work anymore!”

Pluggers, 11/24/25

Not sure if the joke here is “pluggers are lazy and listless, and look for ways to postpone even the simplest chores as long as possible” or “pluggers shit a lot, and messily.”

Mary Worth, 11/24/25

Wait, does Toby think Sunny’s entire species was smuggled over the border from Mexico, only to die en masse in a trucking accident? Can’t believe I’m just now putting this together, but is she, like … dumb dumb?

Shoe, 11/24/25

It was 51 years ago! That’s actually a pretty easy fact to look up.

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Dick Tracy, 11/21/25

Look, I don’t like to speak ill of the dead, and I’m not going to say I’m glad that Sheriff Somners plummeted to his death off that cliff. But if the guy saw this horrifying country fair act where “Roacho the Clown” ran around spraying poison onto two weirdos in comically grotesque giant bug costumes and thought to himself, “Now this is the vibe I want at that local charity event,” then I question his judgment, honestly.

Hi and Lois, 11/21/25

Hmm, this seems like good news, so why does Hi look so disappointed by this big reveal? Because Ditto is describing a shift from a violent and primitive mode of production to a more orderly capitalist one, and Hi is familiar enough with the theory of historical materialism to know what comes next: full-on communism.

Mary Worth, 11/21/25

I was gonna do a riff here about Mary suspecting that Toby has taken a lover, but look at her face in that first panel. She’s clearly more like, “Wait, is another person here? Does Toby know someone socially other than me and Ian? Hmm. Hmm. No, sorry, that just doesn’t add up.