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Archive: Dick Tracy

24

Live your life so Mary Worth never bold-face yells “AGE DIFFERENCE?” at you

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Dick Tracy, 2/26/26

The number of human beings who, over the past 18 months or so, have wondered to themselves if minor Dick Tracy villain Silver Nitrate is still having a hard time in prison can probably be counted on one hand, but I assume all those people read my blog and have only come to care because of my occasional efforts to bring the matter to their attention. So anyway, this plot update goes out to all of you Nitrate trufans: the Russians launched a drone attack on a Neo-Chicago prison in order to facilitate a mass jailbreak, and now Silver Nitrate is about to get extremely killed, by a machine gun.

Mary Worth, 2/26/26

“Oh, wow … just 32 and a widow already! You know, most young women don’t really have a sense of how long a man can live, and when they meet one who’s older than them they assume he’s got like 5 or 10 years left in him, tops. Anyway, good for her!”

Blondie, 2/26/26

“Blondie wants Dagwood to prove his humanity by displaying sexual interest in her, and Dagwood doesn’t care if Blondie is a robot or not so long as his dinner is made of real meat” is, uh. It’s a little on the nose, I think.

172

Honestly more comics characters should be sent to Donetsk oblast, it’d really shake things up around here

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Gil Thorp, 2/16/26

What’s going on in Gil Thorp? I’m not talking about the day-to-day plot; I’m talking about the near-future background setting, where the heavily armed “New Milford” PD lacks a monopoly on legitimate violence and must negotiate with authorities in schools, which remain separate, self-governed jurisdictions like medieval European universities. I guess we should’ve known that we were dealing with a landscape where centralized constitutional government had broken down completely when it turned out that the local juvenile detention facility doubled as a gladiatorial combat arena.

Dick Tracy, 2/16/26

The “Dick is betrayed by his partner” Dick Tracy storyline has abruptly wrapped up, and now we’re going to smash cut to … the Donbas Front, I guess? Look, the West has been looking for ways to push Russian troops out of Ukraine for years now, and having Dick Tracy shoot them in the back for “resisting arrest” is certainly not the worst idea anyone has come up with.

Mary Worth, 2/16/26

Meanwhile, despite several opportunities, the “Toby and Ian get parrots” Mary Worth storyline has singularly failed to abruptly wrap up, and in fact we seem to have gotten stuck in a “Mary and Jeff enjoy a post-plotline-wrapup at the Bum Boat” loop. Jeff could’ve short-circuited this by choosing his pie “a la mode” as usual and then dying of a massive coronary event, so I guess, against all odds, he’s enjoying this experience, or at least prefers it to death.

97

A bullet’s too good for this creep

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Blondie, 2/13/25

I like the first couple of panels here: Dagwood being somewhat indulgent about his barber’s fixation — he knows a thing or two about fixations, ha ha! — but looking concerned as he walks out, knowing that his nervously sweaty friend will be blowing that crisp $20 bill on officially licensed Team USA merch or a Peacock Premium subscription. I don’t care for the final panel, though, as it forces me to contemplate how weird Dagwood’s skull shape is.

Dick Tracy, 2/13/25

Oh yeah so it turns out that Dick’s ex-partner was in fact the real killer, and all his (stolen? I think? or maybe he was paid, to do crime?) money blew away right before Dick punched him in the face. I guess it proves that crime doesn’t pay, because your money will blow away, and that’s even before the part where you get punched in the face.

B.C., 2/13/25

Hey, remember how the ant dad in B.C. died horribly? Were you wondering how his family was doing in his absence? Well! Not good, it turns out.