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Gil Thorp, 2/16/26

What’s going on in Gil Thorp? I’m not talking about the day-to-day plot; I’m talking about the near-future background setting, where the heavily armed “New Milford” PD lacks a monopoly on legitimate violence and must negotiate with authorities in schools, which remain separate, self-governed jurisdictions like medieval European universities. I guess we should’ve known that we were dealing with a landscape where centralized constitutional government had broken down completely when it turned out that the local juvenile detention facility doubled as a gladiatorial combat arena.

Dick Tracy, 2/16/26

The “Dick is betrayed by his partner” Dick Tracy storyline has abruptly wrapped up, and now we’re going to smash cut to … the Donbas Front, I guess? Look, the West has been looking for ways to push Russian troops out of Ukraine for years now, and having Dick Tracy shoot them in the back for “resisting arrest” is certainly not the worst idea anyone has come up with.

Mary Worth, 2/16/26

Meanwhile, despite several opportunities, the “Toby and Ian get parrots” Mary Worth storyline has singularly failed to abruptly wrap up, and in fact we seem to have gotten stuck in a “Mary and Jeff enjoy a post-plotline-wrapup at the Bum Boat” loop. Jeff could’ve short-circuited this by choosing his pie “a la mode” as usual and then dying of a massive coronary event, so I guess, against all odds, he’s enjoying this experience, or at least prefers it to death.

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Blondie, 2/13/25

I like the first couple of panels here: Dagwood being somewhat indulgent about his barber’s fixation — he knows a thing or two about fixations, ha ha! — but looking concerned as he walks out, knowing that his nervously sweaty friend will be blowing that crisp $20 bill on officially licensed Team USA merch or a Peacock Premium subscription. I don’t care for the final panel, though, as it forces me to contemplate how weird Dagwood’s skull shape is.

Dick Tracy, 2/13/25

Oh yeah so it turns out that Dick’s ex-partner was in fact the real killer, and all his (stolen? I think? or maybe he was paid, to do crime?) money blew away right before Dick punched him in the face. I guess it proves that crime doesn’t pay, because your money will blow away, and that’s even before the part where you get punched in the face.

B.C., 2/13/25

Hey, remember how the ant dad in B.C. died horribly? Were you wondering how his family was doing in his absence? Well! Not good, it turns out.

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Dick Tracy, 2/9/26

I haven’t really been keeping you up to date on this guest-written Dick Tracy storyline, but the short version is that a watch Dick gave long ago to his first partner, “Jerry Gould,” was dropped by a mysterious fleeing villain. Jerry does not appear to have an entry in the invaluable Dick Tracy wiki, so I assume he’s a new character invented for this plot and given the last name of strip creator Chester Gould as an homage. Anyway, it turns out Jerry left the force and became some sort of damn hippie with a guitar and a ponytail, although the flattop haircut he received upon joining Neo-Chicago’s MCU remains permanently grafted onto his skull.

Judge Parker, 2/9/26

Oh, it turns out Randy has been imprisoned for four and a half months somewhere where there is “only ice and time,” so, I guess … Norway? Like, he went to Norway to track down his wife by any means necessary, except some of those means violated some local laws and he was arrested and then duly tried, convicted, and sentenced? Seems fair to me. If you didn’t want to do the time in the cold, you shouldn’t have done the crime in the cold, Randy.

Gil Thorp, 2/9/26

Look, man, you’re going around creepily whispering in your rivals’ ears and you deal with high school ruffians all day, I’m pretty sure you can find your way to understanding the mindset that results in a little light vandalism. It’s fun! Have some fun with it!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/9/26

“That’s an awful big word, dad. Did you forget that I’m not very bright?”