Post Content

Spider-Man, 7/1/10

I’ve never been on board an airplane that explosively depressurized due to a superhero cutting open the fuselage and flying out, but if I were, I’d imagine that, in my helplessness, I would actively refuse to look at the gaping maw in the side of the plane, as if that would cause it to no longer exist. If everyone else on board took the same attitude, then nobody would notice how exactly said hole would magically be filled in, and once it was fixed, we’d probably all forget about it and just return to our seats in an orderly fashion. Say, has this Georgia O’Keeffe-inspired webbing sculpture always been here? I didn’t notice it when I came on board. Must have missed it, somehow.

Dick Tracy, 7/1/10

So Dick Tracy’s current storyline, which I won’t even bother trying to explain, has ended as they all do: with a fresh corpse lying in a rapidly spreading pool of blood. This particular variation on the theme is noteworthy primarily because Dick is so gobsmacked at being rescued by Anja Nu, who, though somewhat monomaniacal about her play, we’ve had no reason to think of as being on anything other than the side of good. I guess Dick is just generally shocked at any act of kindness on anyone’s part. Maybe her “good reason” is that she just likes killing people, Dick! Surely you’d understand that.

Post Content

Mary Worth, 6/14/10

Well, thank goodness: the new Mary Worth plot is being heralded by a Charterstone Pool Party, so the world does in fact still make some kind of sense. Kudos to Jenna for spicing things up by shouting potentially sensitive information across a courtyard full of her clients’ friends and neighbors. “I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR REFERRING THE JOHNSONS TO ME AS CLIENTS! BONNIE’S COMPULSIVE SPENDING ON HIDEOUS CLOTHES IN UNDER CONTROL FOR NOW, AND HER HUSBAND HAS GRUDGINGLY AGREED NOT TO LEAVE HER! I STILL DON’T THINK THEIR SEX LIFE HAS REALLY RECOVERED, THOUGH!”

Say, check out Wilbur in the background of panel two! Presumably he’s recovered from the pain of being abandoned by his lying not-son. No longer hiding in his apartment, shoving sandwich after sandwich into his mouth, he’s decided to come out into the daylight, mingle with his fellow condo dwellers, and chow down on a raw potato instead.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/14/10

You know, any comic can show you a character telling another an awkward, unfunny joke; in fact, one might argue that this is one of the things the American newspaper comics pages do best! But only high-quality strips like Funky Winkerbean have the craftsmanship to show you the uncomfortable aftermath of those failed zingers: the confusion, the sheepish smiles, the half-hearted apologies on both sides. Tomorrow’s strip should just be three panels of these two silently brooding over their continued failure to forge an interpersonal bond, despite their game efforts.

Mark Trail, 6/14/10

Panel three’s closeup reveals that “Sally” is clearly just character actor Ernest Borgnine in a not terribly convincing wig — which bodes ill for our mustachioed dog-hating villain. Don’t let Borgnine’s “lovable loser” persona from his Oscar-winning turn in Marty fool you; he’s a decorated World War II naval gunner, so that nosey neighbor and his politician friend may find themselves under attack by ship-based artillery in the near future.

Dick Tracy 6/14/10

Oh, right, Dick Tracy: it still exists, and is still insane, etc. One particularly odd and hitherto unexplained aspect of this storyline is that the play-gone-haywire at the heart of it is being staged at the Science Museum, which is not the sort of place one usually imagines as a theatrical venue. But now we’ve learned the narrative motivation behind this: with the action established at the Science Museum, we’ve been set up for a dramatic conclusion within a restored submarine! Because when you think “Science Museum,” you generally think “historic naval vessels.” Anyway, long story short, that submarine’s deck and walls are about to be decorated with blood, as Dick guns down his antagonist at point-blank range.

Post Content

Dick Tracy, 5/29/10

The current Dick Tracy storyline, in which one of Dick’s old adversaries (or possibly said adversary’s grandson) has gone to all the trouble of being cast opposite Dick in a dramatic re-enactment of one of his old cases just so he can murder the detective and one or more bystanders in front of hundreds of onlookers, is painfully dumb, dumber than usual for this feature, and I’ve been studiously ignoring it. However, I do have to pause to offer appreciation for the fact that Director Lady Whose Punny Name I Have Forgotten has chosen to only thought-balloon that “Oh, no!” Sure, there’s a crazed murderer on the lose and the entire audience is at risk, and it’s important to tell people that, but we wouldn’t want to start a panic with unseemly displays of emotion.

Crock, 5/29/10

We’ve already established that the Crock artist has long forgotten, if he ever knew, that Grossie is supposed to be wearing a niqab. So I suppose it makes sense that he might think of that cap on the top of her head as a “hairstyle.”

Hey, everybody! By the time you see this, I’ll be gone for the long weekend. See ya back here Monday evening, or maybe Tuesday morning!