Archive: Dustin

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Funky Winkerbean, 5/7/19

Ha ha, it’s funny because one of the most important real-world factors in accepting a job or deciding to pursue a career is the amount of wages you would receive from your employer in exchange for your labor — we’re not talking about volunteering, after all! — but Les has specifically forbidden his students from asking about it. It’s important to remember that in addition to being a smug creep and a terrible husband, Les is a pretty lousy teacher!

Dustin, 5/7/19

Sometimes you get so excited about the joke you thought up about “Ha ha, millennials are poor, probably because they’re lazy!” that you forget that millennials have no idea what a “checkbook” is.

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Dustin, 4/25/19

Sorry to youngsplain at you, Dustin’s Boomer Dad Whose Name I Refuse To Remember Or Look Up, but on the social networking service Twitter, a “tweet” is a post that’s publicly visible, or, if you have a locked account, a post that’s visible to your followers; a “direct message,” as the name implies, is private message visible only to the sender and recipient or recipients. Getting dumped in public has a very different emotional valence than the relative privacy of a direct message, so your “Dear John tweet” joke is inaccurate, and isn’t even as charming as wordplay as the more correct “Dear John DM” would be. Also, your son appears to be experiencing a real emotional crisis, as many people of all ages would if the romantic relationship they were in abruptly came to an end, but sure, the thing to focus on here is the website via which the message happened to be sent, so laff it up.

Mary Worth, 4/25/19

I love that, as Estelle unravels emotionally, Mary is just making unbroken eye contact with her phone while dropping this scam knowledge. “Look, Estelle, I know your boyfriend is on your phone and you think everything on phones is real. Well, my phone is telling me that your boyfriend is probably a fraud! Really makes you think, doesn’t it?”

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Marvin, 4/14/19

I am, I think it goes without saying, old and out of touch, so I guess one of the things I appreciate about newspaper comic strips is that they’re even older and more out of touch than I am, especially when it comes to depicting the youths and their various opinions and habits. Marvin is pretty lucky in that regard because it’s about actual babies, and, like, what are babies into? Pissing themselves? Marvin has you covered, my friend. And yet I take no pleasure in reporting that, if there were something other than not being potty trained that would probably excite the interest of the toddler set, it would almost certainly be creating and consuming monotonous but mesmerizing online content, like a YouTube channel of someone destroying toys with a hammer. Marvin truly has its finger on the pulse, is what I’m saying.

Dustin, 4/14/19

You know what else the kids like? Enjoying recreational marijuana use! Especially on April 15. Yes, 4/15, the special marijuana date we all know and love.