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Family Circus, 2/18/24

“Oh, hey, does my toddler have a bunch of friends who I don’t know, who somehow got into the house without me having noticed? Sure, that makes sense. I can sort of visualize what they might look like. I’m definitely giving him extra cookies.”

Gasoline Alley, 2/18/24

So it turns out that the news story that the characters of Gasoline Alley have been reacting to with universal horror and disgust is that they’re going to incorporate cicada protein into bananas. And they’re right to strongly reject this! It’s very gross.

Crock, 2/18/24

Look, not to sound like a crazy libertine degenerate or anything, but I think it’s OK to say that most newspaper comics readers have always been adults, that basically no kids are reading newspaper comics anymore, and that it ought to be OK for them to use the word “cocaine.”

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Gasoline Alley, 2/12/24

Good (?) news, everybody: Slim didn’t freeze to death in his car, and it turns out that the supposed “love note” his wife found was from his granddaughter, so everything’s fine! Or … is it? The newspaper and TV are telling them something unbelievable. Probably something about how the martyred Abraham Lincoln’s memory is being used to promote a sale on sofa beds or Toyotas or something, as panel two hints.

Family Circus, 2/12/24

A friend of mine had a kid who used to just describe strangers to them in public, e.g., “You’re bald,” “You’re short,” etc., and when my friend told her she couldn’t do that because it was rude, she just started looking people in the eye and saying “I’m not allowed to name you.” Anyway, most of the darnedest thing saying in the Family Circus is pretty stupid, but “you have a beard but you just have a face” is the sort of genuinely off-putting thing a child Jeffy’s age might actually say and I frankly think this strip should do more like it.

Shoe, 2/12/24

It’s good to see the Perfesser has finally realized he doesn’t have any loved ones, not Skyler or anyone else, who care enough about him to plan or pay for his funeral, so if he doesn’t want to just get dumped in the river, he’s got to put something together himself. Will tacos be enough to get his various vague acquaintances, like Roz and the guy who fixes his car, to show up? Only one way to find out, though I guess he’ll never really know for sure.

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Mary Worth, 2/8/24

Move over, “celler door!” There’s a new most beautiful two-word phrase in the English language, and it’s “odd rock.” “Race you to that odd rock up ahead!” is a very normal phrase that native English speakers say to one another under all kinds of circumstances and there’s nothing strange or off-putting about it. Anyway, that odd rock definitely isn’t wide and flat, like an altar, and it definitely won’t be soon bedewed with the blood of the heretic Keith, with Kitty holding the obsidian dagger aloft while Sonia and Brad chant ecstatic praises to the Dark One who commands them. Some might say this is a situation that could’ve been avoided with a more timely DNA test, but I’m not here to judge.

Family Circus, 2/8/24

Damn, Dolly, I’m pretty sure PJ hasn’t grappled with the fleeting impermanence of life yet? This isn’t the fun kind of darndest thing to be saying, at all!