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Mary Worth, 7/23/23

Oh, so I forget to tell you that when Greta was being held captive, she made friends with a fellow dog-prisoner, the one the cops were surprised wasn’t dead, and so I guess she was so depressed not because of her ordeal, but because she missed her pal. Fortunately Dr. Ed is the only vet in town, so everyone has to keep taking their pets there, despite his terrible yelp reviews, and now they’re reunited! Anyway, it’s funny because Mary and Saul have just been assuming that Greta was kidnapped by a dogfighting ring despite having no hard evidence, and since Holly is a known kidnapee, it seems like this is a vital clue into Greta’s experience, but probably nobody’s going to talk about it! They’re just going arrange a play date and everything will be fine. Remember, the past only exists by how your remember it!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/23/23

“Hmm, I quit surgery because it was annoying, but now that I’m realizing that it means less time spent with my wife, maybe I need to reconsider. The patients will be under general anesthesia when I interact with them, right? I won’t have to talk to them?”

Family Circus, 7/23/23

I’m sorry, I’m going to have go lie down for a bit while I process the fact that in today’s Family Circus a smiling old woman told a child that “A galaxy of pain awaits you, dear!” like she was in a fucking Hellraiser movie or something.

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Mary Worth, 7/4/23

Greetings, fellow Americans! Hopefully you are spending today watching fireworks and patriotically contemplating’s our nation’s successful defeat of the accursed British in our War of Independence, like Mary is in today’s strip. But sadly, many comics characters are not — a group that apparently includes all of Mary’s friends, since she’s just sitting on this hillside by self. Sure, Old Man Wynter and his posse are probably making sure Greta’s trauma (oh, they found Greta by the way, she managed to get the cage open herself and escape) isn’t compounded by the fireworks noises, but what about Ian and Toby? Dr. Jeff? Wilbur? Do they have something better to do than bask in the majesty of American greatness? Apparently so, and as we’ll see in the following strips, they are not alone.

Blondie, 7/4/23

Remember back in May when Dagwood wanted everyone to know that nobody could best him when it came to respecting the troops, but it turned out it was just a ruse to prevent his nap from being interrupted? Well, now he can’t even be bothered to use patriotism as a pretext.

Beetle Bailey, 7/4/23

Honestly, though, who could blame him when the troops themselves don’t seem to care about America’s birthday? Today’s Beetle Bailey includes the most half-assed wedged-in patriotic message since the infamous Luann 9/11 anniversary strip. I guess we can’t expect these soldiers to put energy into frivolous partying, even the most patriotic kind, when there’s important military preparedness work to be done. I hear the People’s Liberation Army’s lawns are immaculate.

Family Circus, 7/4/23

Jeffy’s OK with fireworks, but doesn’t want to share space with others enjoying them in ways he doesn’t approve of. He loves America but is annoyed by his fellow Americans and that’s no kind of patriotism at all!

The Lockhorns, 7/4/23

Leroy is using the 4th as yet another opportunity to be unpleasantly horny, and honestly? I’ll allow it.

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Blondie, 6/30/23

The idea of being put in a situation where you respond to someone awkwardly in the moment and dwell on it later is of course relatable. I would think that a fun way to grapple with that situation in an art form like the comics would be to think up a snappy response at your leisure and then write up a little scenario where you get to use it in the moment, rather than doing a strip where you flop and then are embarrassed and resentful for the rest of the day. I guess that’s why I’m just a humble critic and not actually the writer of a widely syndicated newspaper strip (I also did not inherit a widely beloved syndicated newspaper strip from my father, which may be a factor there).

Family Circus, 6/30/23

I’m really enjoying Ma Keane’s little smile here. “Should I tell him it’s dead now, and watch his little face crumble? Or would it be more fun to see him walking around with a dead bug in a jar for the rest of the day?”

Hi and Lois, 6/30/23

“People like getting bombed, kid. Why not ask Mr. Thurston about it? If he’s not ‘asleep.’”

Six Chix, 6/30/23

The crotch is next, folks. The crotch is next