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Hello all! Before we get into today’s comments of the week, let’s just pause to acknowledge that yes, a Family Circus movie is in development. It’s going to be live action rather than CGI, which makes me sad because seeing the melonheaded freaks moving and speaking in 3-D would have probably caused mass hysteria and riots.

And now: Go unto your (hopefully) riot-free weekend with this comment of the week!

“A rabbit accusing a crocodile of raiding a garden pretty much defines projection.” –Downpuppy

And the very funny runners up!

“After six panels of Mary’s platitudes, Jim gets the dry heaves. ‘Make her stop! For the love of god, make her stop!’ Dawn, on the other hand, enters a fugue state when listening to Mary on one of the many loudspeakers which surround the Charterstone complex. It explains her vacuous look which is often confused as a symptom of lead poisoning or beri-beri.” –Hibbleton

“It seems that Weber has been thinking about how to make Slylock Fox more hip. This strip is fairly tame, but get ready for a barrage of mysteries that rely on increasingly insular facts about New York: ‘Slylock knows you can’t get a decent burrito at 8th and 53rd, asshole.'” –Meeskite

“This week, Tom Selleck is Thomas Magnum’s evil twin in Yachting for Danger: the Punchenning.” –pugfuggly

“I briefly considered the idea that today’s Mary Worth might be working up to some kind of complex psychodrama wherein the tormented and delusional Jim becomes increasingly convinced that Dawn is actually his dead sister, with chilling results, but on second thought I thinks it’s far more likely leading to Dawn repeating the conversation verbatim to Mary over translucent pie.” –Violet

“Bill Ellis edits a wildlife magazine because he loves it, not for mere money; his fabulous wealth all comes from his lucrative moonlighting gig in a DEVO cover band.” –Trilobite

“Oh, so that’s what it takes to make the Comics Curmudgeon — draw a really large white penis on your cat! [starts drawing penis on cat]” –Greg

“Next, Avery is led into the Van Gogh wing of the mine, where Sam, Abbey, and the Judge are all cowled and waiting to initiate him into the Illuminati.” –btown

“We’ll need to keep one of you as a hostage. Which one of you punches the hardest?” –Doctor Handsome

Plus Comrade Denny’s review of Rat Hole’s latest gig is too long to qualify but 100% hilarious and you should read it.

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Your comment of the week momentarily, but first: enjoy this scan from a Faithful Reader! The Halifax Chronicle-Herald is one of those newspapers that banishes one of its comics (the Family Circus, in this case) to the Classified section. Specifically, they put the Family Circus near the “Business Personals,” which means … well, check out what it means. Heh.

And now, your comments of the week!

“The font for Hi & Lois is so obviously computer generated — somewhere near Comic Sans without being as terrible — that it is hard to read the dialog as if it were spoken by actual human beings. A perfect unity of form and function, is what I’m saying.” –stinkfoot

And your runners up! Very funny!

“Sadly, the Gil Thorp team couldn’t fit another speech balloon in the third panel, otherwise they could have put in the cry of ‘Fiddle-dee-dee Potatoes!’ in case anyone didn’t get the message.” –Atticus Dogsbody

“I’d never thought about wrapping a noose around Hagar’s neck and tossing him in a peat bog as a way of getting him off the comics page, but whatever works.” –pastordan, snark late shift

“Shouldn’t he have his belt unbuckled and his hand down his pants by now?” –Calvin’s Cardboard Box

“‘Look out! A tiger!’ MJ exclaimed, not knowing what to do with her protruding forearm flippers.” –sporknpork

“I love the idea that Mark Trail is set in some kind of non-digital universe. Let’s call it ‘logpunk’. Characters wear either suits or work uniforms, neatly pressed and tucked. Everyone travels everywhere by boat, bushplane or strangely absurd motor vehicles like the Volga truck from the last arc. Recreational fishing is the primary activity in logpunk, with occasional hunting. Bears and dogs are essentially sentient beings and all communication occurs via bakelite telephones.” –geekwhisperer

“As a guy in the printed news industry, the thing I find the most interesting about Mark Trail is the disconnect between how much editors actually make as opposed to how much Jack Elrod seems to think they do. ‘My editor has use of the company yacht,’ Mark says loftily, unaware that it is actually an old tire surrounding a piece of styrofoam.” –Tophat

“I’m calling it now: somewhere at the start of a half-assed battle, Kraven the Hunter will shout something like, ‘Now I’m going to hunt the most DANGEROUS game: SPIDER-MAN!’ This will be an inaccurate statement.” –Dagger

“I like the way Cayla facetiously announces she’s pregnant without changing her now-permanent expression of world-weary despair. That look will serve her well during the wedding and even better as a corpse in Les’ basement.” –Esther Blodgett

“I can’t wait until we see this strip recycled again in a few years, only with smartphones and tablets. The dog will be changed to a hamburger.” –Chareth Cutestory

“Les must stoop in the second panel because of Funky’s large, self-pitying balloon. If only Funky added another sentence or two of loathing, Les would be laid out flat! WHAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF” –Greg

I must thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

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Mark Trail, 10/5/12

Sorry I haven’t been keeping you up to date on Mark Trail, in which a heavily armed Cherry resolved the whole Rusty-napping situation without Mark ever needing to show up! Given the level of real danger that was involved with Rusty being kidnapped by criminals and threatened with death, I’m a bit puzzled as to what “exaggeration” she thinks Rusty will resort to in recounting the story to Mark. “Mark, I saw these men killing sheep from a plane, and then they kidnapped me, and they were going to turn me into a sheep and then shoot me from a plane, so they taught me sheep language, but I summoned all the other sheep, who ate the men! Plus there were aliens!”

Family Circus, 10/5/12

The Billy (age 7) Family Circuses are usually mostly interesting to me because of the layers of family-narrative artifice involved (Jeff Keane continuing his father’s tradition of pretending to draw as his brother), but today’s family psychodrama is much more straightforward: remember, if you don’t like your mother, your kids will notice.

Spider-Man, 10/5/12

Looks like all’s well that’s ended will in Spider-Man! And now you get to contemplate whether you’d rather make sex to a snake or a spider, yuck.

Shoe, 10/5/12

Ha ha, it’s funny because Shoe is emotionally dead, unable to feel either joy or pain!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/5/12

Meanwhile, in Rex Morgan, the thingy came off and there’s water everywhere and June is pissed.