Archive: Family Circus

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Pluggers, 2/27/23

Look, I’m not going to say that there are no plugger or plugger-identified referees, but I feel comfortable in saying that for the vast majority of pluggers, when they see a referee on TV, their first thought is not “ahh, there’s another regular working man, just like me” but is instead “HOLDING? YOU THINK THAT’S HOLDING? FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE”, so I don’t know how well today’s Pluggers is going to land. I do think it’s accurate that pluggers would never rise to a career level where they might come to know interesting corporate or government secrets, though. That part I buy.

Judge Parker, 2/27/23

“I mean, it’s only Monday. He’s gonna be monologuing for the rest of the week. You want him to wrap up on Thursday and then we have to sit around in awkward silence for two more strips? We gotta stretch this out.”

Family Circus, 2/27/23

“And maybe some new glasses. You see how close he’s sitting to the TV?”

Hagar the Horrible, 2/27/23

You know, Hagar the Horrible usually focuses on small, mundane little moments in the life of a band of Viking warriors, but every once in a while you get a glimpse of a hugely important historic moment — like today, when the Varangian Guard was founded.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/26/23

This whole Truck-Wanda thing has been slow-burning in Rex Morgan for months now, but somehow it’s only now occurring to me that this is in fact the strip’s second “courtly older gent finds romance with a gal who owns a diner” plot. One is fine, but two is indicative of the sort of sick fetish that I don’t care to see played out on the funny pages where children can see it.

Dennis the Menace, 2/26/23

We make fun of Dennis losing his edge, but Mrs. Wilson is actively seeking out some menacing. She needs someone who’s willing to say “These cookies suck ass, old woman; you’re losing your touch,” because she needs to know if she is, in fact, losing her touch.

Family Circus, 2/26/23

“Almost as if a large, spherical object is being repeatedly bashed against the wall! Welp, guess we should continue to not investigate this and hope for the best [winks]”

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/19/23

You probably don’t remember (because why would you, remembering inane Rex Morgan plots for you is my job, literally), but way back in early 2020, roots country legend Truck Tyler caught some kind of persistent respiratory virus before it was cool, and was also sleeping in his car, so Buck arranged for a free room in a depressing, half-empty motel to serve as a makeshift isolation ward, which Truck used as inspiration for a new song that became a viral hit on, let’s say … TikTok? … which I assume means that lots of teens are now LARPing as depressed old roots country singers down at the Glenwood Motel these days. Truck still has a standing offer of a free room there are a result, in case this nice diner waitress wants to have sex in the most depressing place she’s ever had sex in her life.

Family Circus, 2/19/23

I can think of few acts more humiliating than calling your wife from inside your car to have her stop your children from throwing snowballs at you. Yet Big Daddy Keane has no shame about it! Look at him grinning smugly in panel three here. “This is a great use case of a cellular telephone!” he’s thinking to himself. The man deserves what he’s about to get.

Mary Worth, 2/19/23

Oh hey by the way Estelle is being tormented by visions of Wilbur in animal form while she tries to sleep, if you were wondering! Will murdering him finally make the nightmare images go away? Probably not, but I for one am willing for her to take that chance.