Mary Worth, 5/1/06
It gets worse, Kel: everything in that tupperware dish is just your portion.
How does anyone in Mary Worth ever put on any weight? The only foodstuff on offer there is disgusting off-white unidentifiable mush.
Family Circus, 5/1/06
You sure got that right, you little fucker.
Family Circus, 4/23/06
This may be the first time ever that I’ve appreciated the Family Circus in a non-ironic fashion. Then again, this may be the first time that the Family Circus featured the aftermath of a ghastly parody of a religious sacrament that quickly descended into child-injuring violence. My favorite aspects: the discarded bible, face down in the grass, its pages no doubt scratched to ribbons by Kittycat in a desperate attempt to escape salvation; and the dripping water and anger-produced steam emanating from the aforementioned still-unsaved feline. I am a bit curious about the transistor radio — tuned to some cheesy contemporary Christian channel, no doubt. I also think that it was overkill to use the hose and the bucket and the water already in the birdbath. They really tried to baptize the hell out of that cat.
Anyway, the only way this cartoon could have been improved would have been to dress Jeffy up like Robert Mitchum’s evil preacher from Night of the Hunter.
Luann, 4/23/06
Criminey, DeGroots, this is the ghetto-ist replacement for a TiVo ever. Join the modern age, already!
This next joke, on today’s Rex Morgan, is courtesy of Mrs. C.:
You know, for someone whose parents are a doctor and a nurse, Sarah sure is sick a lot.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/22/06
Cash … meeting some guy at a cheap motel room … yeah, sounds like old times, all right.
Gil Thorp, 4/22/06
Oh, I think you’ll find that somebody’s gonna get punched — Rap Dog is already hanging by a thread there, skinny dude.
Family Circus, 4/22/06
“It’s not like lunches here, where Mommy just turns the hose on us after we eat and then locks us in our room until supper time!”