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Mary Worth, 7/3/24

Do you, Jeff? Do you know what’s like to go through a rough patch? Because I’ve been reading this strip for a while, and as near as I can tell the Dr. Jeff Corey Emotional Spectrum mostly ranges from “wry amusement” to “mild annoyance.” Whenever truly powerful emotions make an appearance — an urge to be of service, say, or rising panic as your sinuses begin to clog — you simply flee the area (to Vietnam and away from Mary’s cat-dander-filled apartment, respectively). And this is, frankly, how Mary likes it! Wilbur may be OK as a “quirky good friend,” but when it comes to sort-of-boyfriends, our gal demands an even keel and does not want to have her Bum Boat dinners interrupted by a lot of “feelings.”

Pluggers, 7/3/24

Now, probably you’re expecting me to try to figure out whether the point of this joke is “pluggers don’t take Viagra because, despite their age, their erections are still firm and vigorous” or “pluggers don’t take Viagra because nobody wants to have sex with them.” But, nope! That’s not an angle I care to explore. Sorry to disappoint! No, I have a different complaint. I take levothyroxine daily, as it happens; I’m not even sad that this gives me something in common with pluggers, because not long after I was diagnosed with a hypoactive thyroid, we found out that Mary Worth’s Iris had a similar ailment, so frankly nothing can hurt me in that regard. But why is this plugger’s levothyroxine blue? Mine is just boring white. Do I not deserve a little splash of color in my morning? Should a plugger live a more aesthetic life than I do?

Gasoline Alley, 7/3/24

I really appreciate the visual storytelling here. As this tree guy says “$7,000,” he’s pointing to the part of his estimate where “$7,000” has been helpfully printed in a large, bold font, which tells us that not only is Walt’s hearing aid acting up, but he needs a new glasses prescription as well.

Family Circus, 7/3/24

Over the years of doing this blog, the strip I’ve gained the most respect for is the Family Circus. The stereotype is that it’s all panels of kids saying the darnedest things that old people lovingly cut out of the paper and hang on their refrigerators; but two or three days a week on average, the joke is actually that little kids are very annoying. Maybe old people cut these out too, but then casually cover them up with mediocre report cards or whatever when the grandkids come over.

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Mary Worth, 6/28/24

I’ve been accused, with perhaps some justification, of being a “coastal elitist”. It’s hard to keep track of what interests do or don’t make you fit that category: my sense of the vibes are that pleasure craft like Dr. Jeff’s are considered “real America” rather than “coastal elitist” coded, despite the fact that they are very expensive and you literally need access to a coastline to enjoy one. This is my way of saying that I don’t actually know much about boats, but I feel like I know enough to say that this one is very big, right? Like in terms of boats owned by retired, mildly successful doctors? Back in the old days Dr. Jeff’s boat was decently sized but it didn’t really loom over you the way this one does. Anyway, Wilbur has experienced not one but two very traumatic large-boat-related incidents, and it would certainly be entertaining if the extremely tentative emotional stability engendered by the prospect of this well-attended fish funeral were shattered by a full-on panic attack.

Alice, 6/28/24

Ever since I’ve gotten on my Alice kick a few months ago, I’ve been sharing with you the “wow, this strip sure is weird!” ones but sparing you the ones that are like “these modern times are new and scary, things were simpler way back then!” So I have to say, this wasn’t the first strip I thought would take the position “Enh, people aren’t very good at most stuff, let’s give the robots a try,” but truly I always appreciate a zig where I expect a zag.

Family Circus, 6/28/24

I understand the Keanes are conservative and don’t think their kids are ready to learn the truth about where babies come from, but I’m telling you, in the absence of solid facts children will come up with some truly wild and frankly very unsettling ideas about how the world works.

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Family Circus, 6/24/24

I think it’s a not uncommon phenomenon to have one grandmother who, while still loving, is just less on your wavelength than the other one. Like, there’ll be one grandma who’s happy to really get into your shenanigans, and another one whose vibe is more like Grandma Keane here, who is clearly thinking “Oh, was his father this stupid when he was this age? I don’t think he was.”

Gil Thorp, 6/24/24

There are two different kinds of newly partnered up divorced guys: the ones who treat their new relationship as an opportunity to completely remake their life, and get frosted tips and make embarrassing decisions about vehicle purchases; and the ones who simply slot their new partner, hopefully willingly, into the comfortable paired up life they’ve experienced for decades. Anyway, Beth, Gil’s new bartendress lover, seems happy enough to deploy her professional skills in service of the the Thorpian summer tradition of sitting on the lawn and enjoying an icy cold beverage, and hopefully will be equally amenable to other summer traditions, like plotlines on the wackiness level of “juvenile delinquents forced to battle one another for the entertainment of their sadistic warden and an audience of streaming viewers.”

Marvin, 6/24/24

You probably think that being the “comics curmudgeon” is some kind of dream come true. But did you know that sometimes it involves staring at a Marvin panel and seeing purple liquid coming out of Marvin’s diaper, maybe, and trying to figure out if you’re misreading that or if the intended reading is that he’s leaking poop or piss and the colorist is making a desperate attempt to protect us from that knowledge. Also, why are they punishing him? Is this considered a good potty training technique, to punish kids for accidents? I’ve never bought into Freudian theory, but maybe there’s something to it if this is common. On the other hand, I do think Marvin in general needs to be punished more. Being the comics curmudgeon is hard, is my point! I have to think about this stuff every day! For you! For you!