Archive: Family Circus

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Blondie, 12/19/23

Of the legacy comics characters out there, Blondie has a less expressive face than most — I think the word I’d use to describe it most of the time is “rictus” — but it seems clear that she’s pretty gobsmacked in the final panel, right? Like the scales have fallen from her eyes and she realizes what a bum her husband is. She works her fingers to the bone all day building a successful small business and has to cook for the biggest glutton in this nameless, soulless suburb, and now she finds out that every supposed slander her husband’s boss has laid out about him has been true all this time! And yet he still collects his fat, steady salary. The nerve! The absolute nerve!

Hi and Lois, 12/19/23

Speaking of facial expressions and suburban ennui, I like the emotional roller coaster Hi is on here. He already knew there wasn’t a bonus check in that box, and he thought had settled into the appropriate level of despair. But upon opening it, he discovered he was still capable of shock.

Family Circus, 12/19/23

I know that “smug” is Billy’s primary non-sullen facial expression and it usually isn’t appropriate, but it seems particularly inappropriate here. “Heh heh,” he seems to be thinking, “Santa loves the fact that I keep changing my mind and he’s had to retool my Christmas haul multipe times.” No he doesn’t, Billy! Nobody would like that!

Shoe, 12/19/23

Excited to see that Roz has transcended the goggle eyes of horror and has achieved the bulging eyes of murderous rage. Well deserved, too! Shoe, she just wanted your expertise as the editor of a failing newspaper to help her price her new entry into the competitive pre-made frozen meal market! There’s no reason to be a dick about it!

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Crock, 12/16/23

The infancy story in the Gospel of Matthew is the one that mentions the Magi, and while it specifies three different gifts they brought to the baby Jesus (gold, frankincense, and myrrh), it doesn’t actually say how many people brought that stuff, and while there are three kings included in most nativity scenes, there’s nothing canonical about that number. So, who’s the smart guy now, eh, Seymour?

Family Circus, 12/16/23

Jeffy, what are you wearing? Did you come to be dumb and belligerent at this mall Santa right after doing a standup set at Caroline’s in 1988?

Hi and Lois, 12/16/23

I gotta say that I really appreciate the facial expressions and body language on Dot and Ditto here. They’re devastated! Christmas is ruined!

Mary Worth, 12/16/23

Sonia and Brad love nothing more than fighting the system, a system that includes cattle ranching and taking your hat off indoors. Keith, on other hand, loves the system, and would never violate any aspect of it, especially America’s precious trademark laws, which keep our beloved franchised fast-food restaurants safe from repetitional harm.

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Pluggers, 11/17/23

Look, I’ve said a lot of pretty mean things about Pluggers over the years, so let me say something nice: this is a very cute drawing a cat-man opening his mouth wide to eat a cinnamon bun. It’s cute and I enjoy it! Let’s put the implied bodily self-loathing aside for the moment and just enjoy this cartoon. Ha ha, he’s taking a big bite!

Family Circus, 11/17/23

If you squint, you can see that the front page of the Family Times, the fake newspaper these little twerps have been working on all week, has the banner headline “HANG UP YOUR CLOTHES OR NO DESERT!” I guess I shouldn’t be shocked that the Keane Kids have decided to, on their own initiative, print a propaganda rag dedicated to their own repression, but it still fills me with a profound sense of disgust.

Gasoline Alley 11/17/23

The civic leaders of Charlotte, North Carolina, heard that Rufus and Joel were approaching and quickly built a Potemkin skyline to divert the irritating rustics as far from the good citizenry as possible.