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Blondie, 7/6/18

Blondie and Dagwood are such experienced kissers they can carry on entire conversations with their lips locked.

Heathcliff, 7/6/18

The chicken’s involved, the pig’s committed, and the cat’s a fan.

Luann, 7/6/18

The middle-schoolers of Luann now dress as adults but carry on the same rituals, including playground weddings.

Family Circus, 7/6/18

A “typical Philadelphia” street food cart. Later this trip, they’ll take in a Broadway Street play.

Zits, 7/6/18

Psst, Walt — ask for the dollar in quarters; you’ll be half a buck ahead and no bending.

— Uncle Lumpy

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Family Circus, 6/28/18

I have to say that I really, unironically enjoy today’s Family Circus, and what sells it for me is the children’s faces of genuine and visceral disgust. Then there’s the fact that cats generally are, over short distances, faster than people, but the Keane Kids still managed to beat Kittycat inside, almost as if she were struggling to drag in something very large, perhaps larger than herself. Is it a human arm? I’m hoping it’s a human arm.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/28/18

The joke here is of course that Darin has offloaded childcare duties on his elderly mother, who already had her hands so full caring for her stroke-striken and paralyzed husband that she had to quit the job she loved, and now she’s just completely exhausted and her grandchild is running around the house largely unsupervised! But I think it’s worth pointing out that, just to add a little color to today’s narrative, Darin and Mopey Pete are slouching across the street in the pouring rain, having neglected to bring protective clothing or umbrellas for whatever reason. Just putting that special Funkyverse twist of abject misery on proceedings!

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Crock, 6/21/18

[extremely hack ’90s standup comedian voice] Hey, you guys, uh, you heard about this “Google”? They got all these crazy names for things on the Internet. [adjusts tie] It’s wild, man, it’s wild. Hey, what if there was some old wise man in a cave and it turned out he was just surfing the web using “Google”? [pats forehead with handkerchief] That’d be pretty crazy, huh?

Gasoline Alley, 6/21/18

Well, we’ve moved on from Slim’s erotic concussion and have started a new Gasoline Alley plot, about a centenarian with paranoid delusions about the personal care industry, and I’m not gonna lie: I am hooked.

Family Circus, 6/21/18

Look at those eyes! Look at that spittle! Listen to the unhinged ravings! Billy is in the middle of a full-on cookie mania, and it’s difficult to watch.

Hi and Lois, 6/21/18

WHEN YOU’VE COMMITTED A SIN SO GREAT THAT EVEN THE SUN ABANDONS YOU