Post Content

Crock, 10/6/09

Poor uncultured Captain Poulet! He’s throwing around big words like “Platonic,” which means pretty much exactly the opposite of what it’s pretty clear that he thinks it means. Perhaps his only experience with Plato comes from reading The Symposium, and he thinks the evening is going to end in a drunken sodomistic orgy, though even in that case he seems to have seriously misunderstood some genders.

Oh, also, this lady is out on parole! This is “funny,” for some reason.

Apartment 3-G, 10/6/09

See, this is the difference between Ruby and Tommie. Ruby may be beaten down by the big city — she have been thrown over by a man she thought she was getting on well with for some pill-addled floozy — but she still knows that she’s worth something! In panel two, she looks mad about her lonely, unloved state. Screw you, New York! If you’re not good enough to appreciate Ruby, well, she’ll just go back to Texas, and you’ll be all the worse for it!

Tommie, meanwhile, is in the process of melting into a puddle of self-pity. The only thing keeping her standing upright is the fact that her coffee mug is mostly filled with Wellbutrin.

Jumble, 10/6/09

Speaking of pills, these women — one with a heavy-lidded expression, the other with eyes the size of dinner plates — appear to be having some kind of spontaneous little party in the shoe store, in which they’re stumbling around muttering about how “it’s like walking on marshmallows.” They are clearly high, on drugs.

Funky Winkerbean, 10/6/09

Now, Kayla, we know that you weren’t aware that Lisa’s ghost was spying on you when you and Les first made out, because you aren’t gifted with Creepy-o-Vision. But for the record, “Every peanut butter and jelly sandwich is like an edible tombstone for my dead wife and it must be made properly” is the part where you run screaming for the door and never look back.

Post Content

Slylock Fox, 10/4/09

Congrats to Slylock for not simply arresting the first suspect that law enforcement’s attention settled upon and throwing him in prison without trial! I think this is a first for whatever thuggish law enforcement organization he works for. Of course, every female kangaroo in a twelve-mile radius will inevitably be rounded up and waterboarded into confessing the crime, but still, baby steps.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/4/09

I think it’s sad that the unrealistic beauty standards of the modern media are having an impact even in rural, isolated Hootin’ Holler, where local morality laws force women to cover their hair and, apparently, forbid them to wear bras.

Funky Winkerbean, 10/4/09

Every single inhabitant of the Funkyverse ought to have a broken heart tattooed on them at birth.

Post Content

Fall Fundraiser update: So ends another week-long gin and Ritalin® binge Comics Curmudgeon fundraiser. Thank you for your generosity and patience — no more formal appeals until spring, promise! Of course, you can still contribute and get a bracelet for a week or so, and that PayPal button is always over there at the left — just sayin’! Seriously, you folks are great – thank you!

Funky Winkerbean, 9/26/09

Oh, game on! Serial P.O.W. Wally Winkerbean proves that brain damage or no, he’s still the disarming ladies’ man of days gone by. Five bucks on the table and Rana beams “that’s my Dad”, while Comic John’s Bat-cojones shrink to Robins’ eggs.

Apartment 3-G, 9/26/09

Shaky or no, drug-addled elderskank Bobbie Merrill still got game — Ruby passive-aggressively accepts her downgrade from friend to neighbor, as Bobbie deftly snags the “Doc” for an afternoon Ambien® adventure.

Beetle Bailey, 9/26/09

And who doesn’t love the Game of Golf? Ida Know, Not Me! General Halftrack’s odd collection of fetish objects suggests he’s a latter-day Fulvius Stella, lighting a white candle to invoke the tender mercies of Celtic Horse Goddess Epona, with a martini at the ready to help him forget That Special Night. And all dressed up for a Morris Dance.

And a few final matters —

Margo Moments — a Fall Fundraiser special, part 7

Apartment 3-G (panels) — 2/17, 3/13, 4/28, 5/11, 5/31, 6/23, 7/15, 7/21, 8/23, 9/13/2009

OK, you’re all up to date. What will Margo do next? Stay tuned!

Margo, Queen of the Universe!

Bracelet pix have been pouring in from Middle Earth to deepest space (the final frontier!), furthest Afghanistan to deepest Baltimore, Santa Royale General Hospital to a lonely Lhasa morgue. Here’s a sample:

Thanks to faithful reader AeroSquid, Josh and Amber and Aunt Lumpy for photographic documentation of the awesome range and power of What Margo Would Do!

Josh will be back Sunday; look for Sunday comics in the early evening. This has been a fun week; thanks, everybody!

— Uncle Lumpy