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Mary Worth, 3/7/08

Let’s not read too much into Toby’s use of “compulsion” in panel one — I’m pretty confident we’re not going to go much deeper into Mary’s psychology than “my true religion is kindness” or some such claptrap. Some backstory would be a refreshing change, though, full of sailing vessels, crinolines, “prithee”, witch trials, a narrow escape from the stake, a stark struggle for survival through the icy New England winter, and encounters with wolves that prove to be more than they seem. . . .

Funky Winkerbean, 3/6/08 and 3/7/08

If I’m not mistaken, this is the first post-jump Funky with a focus on the kids instead of their sad sack elders. Nice start! So let’s overlook the apparent continuity error on Opponent McHeadband’s jersey for now. Instead, look at scrappy Summer Moore there, giving as good as she gets! I gotta ask — where’d she get that from? Surely not everybody’s favorite Utility Victims, Les ‘n’ Lisa! Whose kid is she — I mean, really? Let’s watch as the dark secret emerges, only to grind the last particle of joy from Les’s trudge to the grave.

Family Circus, 3/7/08

On March 7, 2008, Jeff and Bil Keane finally decided that phoning it in was just too damn much work.

– Uncle Lumpy

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Lots of comings and goings in the continuity strips today!

For Better or For Worse, 3/3/08

Hey, it’s Warren, the dashing helicopter pilot! He says his head’s a mess, and he’s come to Liz for clarity. Which more or less proves his point.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/3/08

Big Rex and Little Niki, packin’ out: no fish, but no “disappointment”, either — except for poor Rex, who faces the grim prospect of sex with his wife.

Mark Trail, 3/3/08

Recaps all ’round in Mark Trail, and good news for Johnny Malotte: with Bull dead and Luke in jail, his camp empire will span the whole of Lost Forest. “Hey, Marie, now we can have those nine other kids we always dreamed about!”

Funky Winkerbean, 3/3/08

That’s it? Two weeks of the Pizza World interview just to establish that Funky’s a dick? I’d call it a waste, but squandering two weeks of Funky Winkerbean hardly qualifies. Cue Summer Moore’s championship season — too bad there wasn’t room in panel three for Bull to tell us more about what we read in panel two. C’mon Bull, focus: which of your Westview teams is going to that championship game?

Mary Worth, 3/3/08

Pool party! Pool party! Pool party! And there’s Wilbur, and Chinbeard, and Toeby — and, and Guy on the Stairs! Oh, it’s gonna be great this time, I just know it!

But what on earth are they feeding that leprechaun? And where’s Mary’s customary glass of human blood? Never mind for now — I’m sure all will be explained in the weeks and months ahead.

Pool party! Ahhhhhhh. . . .

– Uncle Lumpy

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Funky Winkerbean, 3/1/08 and Sally Forth, 2/27/08

Even in a Leap Year, poor February gets no respect — cartoonists basically take the month off. Here we see young Maddie imagining February in the far future, while Sally remembers it from the distant past. At least March promises more fun, as a murderous Afghan rebel and a crazed United States Postal Worker plot against the skinflint owner of that nest of vipers, Montoni’s Pizza. And Sally? Go ahead and carve a chunk outta Ralph. Blame it on the Ambien® — no jury will lay a glove on you.

Marvin, 3/1/08 and Minnie Pauz, no date

A week of ham-handed single-panel pregnancy-themed Belly Laffs. A bad thing? Sure. But the worst thing? Apparently not!

Oh, you ladies and your hilarious reproductive processes! At least we guys can look forward to a month of prostate-themed humor in A Very Special Crankshaft.

Agnes, 3/1/08

Hmm. Rats!

– Uncle Lumpy