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Funky Winkerbean, 5/27/19

Oh, hey, remember how Cindy decided her next big project should be a documentary about silent movie legend Butter Brinkel, who I guess is supposed to be a thinly veiled Fatty Arbuckle, which is definitely a subject the youth-obsessed audience at Buddyblog will be into? To track down the “real story” on this disgraced movie star, she’s talking to Cliff Anger, former HUAC Blacklistee and the subject of her last documentary, which was nominated for an Emmy, thank you very much. Since Cliff was in the Merchant Marine and/or the Communist Party USA as of 1940, that puts him in his late 90s today, at minimum; but since Arbuckle’s big scandal happened in 1921, that still makes Cliff too young to have known him at the height of his career. But I guess in a world where the Brown Derby continues to be a going concern decades after the last one went out of business in real life, we can’t expect the flow of history to match up with reality as we know it. Anyway, I’m hoping “he was my kemosabe” is coded silent era slang for gay stuff, but it’s probably just a reference to a wildly racist costume Cindy is going to find photo evidence of soon enough.

Hi and Lois, 5/27/19

Not sure if we’re meant to read Lois’s statement in panel two as “I feel bad for Thirsty and am not going to go along with Hi in freezing him out” or “I actually find Hi’s cooking unappetizing and can barely scarf down half of one of his burgers, so why let it go to waste” or “I’ve been ‘sharing’ my ‘burger’ with Thirsty for a while now so I suppose it’s time all the men in my life were updated on the situation,” but I appreciate the way the kids are staring at the adults gobsmacked, waiting for the drama to fully reveal its details.

Slylock Fox, 5/27/19

Count Weirdly has blown it again, but you have to give him credit: “Oh, he was just here, because, uh, the ice cubes are still in his drink,” is exactly the sort of bullshit Sly thinks is like DNA-level case-solving evidence.

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Dustin, 5/23/19

Wow, this is quite a turn in the depiction of the generational Boomer vs. Millennial battle in Dustin! Sure, the kids these days spend too much time on Twitter and are lazy to the point of narcolepsy, but check out this late-middle-aged criminal who’s shocked, shocked that he might suffer consequences for stealing! And check out Dustin’s dad, a high-priced defense attorney who cheerfully profits from white-collar crime whether he wins his case or not! If you need consolation, my silver-haired thief, maybe you should find it in the fact that you presumably came to court from your nice house, wearing a nice suit, rather than, just to take an example at random, spending three years on Riker’s Island awaiting trial for shoplifting a backpack. Presumably you’ll get to go back to your nice house and will have a leisurely month or two to talk to your broker and accountant about how to sell enough securities to pay that fine without unduly increasing your tax burden. The system works!

Funky Winkerbean, 5/23/19

It’s hard for me to admit that I have a “favorite” kind of Funky Winkerbean, but I do, and it’s this kind: the kind where the character delivering the punchline at least has enough self-awareness to look ashamed about it.

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Dustin, 5/20/19

OK, I guess today I’m going to formalize what’s becoming a regular feature on this blog; this is another installment of Josh, A Gen-Xer And Thus A Neutral Party, Assesses The Accuracy Of Dustin, A Strip About The Clash Between Millennials And Baby Boomers That Blatantly Favors The Latter.

What today’s Dustin gets right: Millennials do seem to love astrology! Like, love it a little too much! It’s like a whole thing!

What today’s Dustin gets wrong: Millennials don’t get their horoscopes from a physical newspaper, and also don’t look at job ads in a physical newspaper, and also job ads in a physical newspaper are no longer a particularly useful way to find jobs.

Ha ha, but, horoscopes and the kids today though! Am I right folks?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/20/19

Kelly and Niki have become insanely square compared to their origin stories as a sass-talking goth and petty thief, respectively, but they and their pal Barfy McChokerson are the closest this strip still has to interesting characters, so I guess I’m glad to see them. What do you suppose is the deal with those guys over at the next table, the ones vibrating like tuning forks? Are they shaking in anxiety as they work on the nerve to rob the joint? Are they addicts who are starting to twitch uncontrollably as they go into withdrawal? Are they just chilly? Is the air conditioning up too high, and they were right on the edge of being cold and then made the mistake of ordering iced coffees? Should they have worn more layers?

Funky Winkerbean, 5/20/19

Say, it’s been a while since we checked in on the Les-Cayla marriage. How’s it going? Today’s strip really gives us a sense of the sweep of that whole relationship, from the early days when Cayla was still capable of being disappointed by Les, to today, when she’s just completely numb to his bullshit.