Post Content

Mary Worth, 1/8/10

I’m pretty sure that panel two of today’s Mary Worth is what happens when you have MC Escher draw your family reunion. Note that Kurt and Wilbur are ostensibly sitting on the same piece of furniture, but Kurt’s waist is somehow level with Wilbur’s knees. That may have something do with the fact that Kurt is turned 90 degrees towards Wilbur, but his legs are still magically able to bend! Meanwhile, Dawn appears to be drawing away from Wilbur and her probably-not-actually-half-brother in disgust, tucking her right arm awkwardly behind her back so that Wilbur can’t touch it, and somehow moving closer to the viewer than the actual length of the couch would seem to allow. Just as Kurt has disrupted the Westons’ lives with his story about his illicit parentage, so too has his presence disrupted the actual fabric of time and space in their condo unit.

Also, I like their plan of finally setting some time aside to get to know each other better next week! It should make the next few days of sitting around the house awkwardly super-fun.

Apartment 3-G, 1/8/10

Wow, it looks like dating a foul-mouthed married pill addict isn’t a bed of roses — who could have guessed? I’d have more sympathy for the outrage being perpetrated against Ari’s professionalism if not for the fact that he actually appears to be not so much “with a client” as “wandering around the foyer of his office while his client presumably drones on and on about his emotional problems in the next room, seriously, that guy never shuts up, he probably won’t notice if I take a break for a few minutes.” Also weighing against Ari’s right to be self-righteous: the fact that he prescribed sleeping pills to one of his clients almost immediately upon meeting her, then started sleeping with her. What I’m trying to say is that Ari can, in fact, go to @#*%!!

Family Circus, 1/8/10

My favorite thing about today’s Family Circus is the look of disappointment on Big Daddy Keane’s face. It’s like he always had dreams of having kids so he could read stories to them, only discover that actual children ruin everything by thinking for themselves and being bored and irritated by the things you like. At least Dolly is staying engaged enough to know what’s happening in the story, even if she’s going to pick it to bits with her dumb questions; PJ looks as if he’s fantasizing that something more interesting is happening — that’s he watching television, or instance, or staring at the wall.

Garfield, 1/8/10

Ha ha! Garfield and Odie are voyeuristic perverts!

Post Content

Garfield, 10/12/09

So it appears that when, in an epochal Garfield continuity shift, longtime love object Vet Liz submitted to Jon’s advances, it was part of a long-term plan on her part to kill him and his cat with an improvised explosive device.

Blondie, 10/12/09

Sorry that your dad created Blondie and not, say, the X-Men or the Transformers or some other insane revenue-generating piece of intellectual property, but cheer up! At least you’ve got that lucrative Dagwood Sandwich franchise thing going, right? Oh, wait.

Apartment 3-G, 10/12/09

The bad news for Professor Papagoras: when his current lust object Bobbie roots around in her pill-fogged mind for his name, all she can come up with is “Doctor Whositz.” The good news: she has a list of people or things to “do”, and he’s on it!

Marmaduke, 10/12/09

“No! Tell him you can use me as a substitute! Don’t let him think you don’t need meAARRRRGGGH” CRUNCH MUNCH SLURP

Post Content

Beetle Bailey, 9/3/09

Fun fact! Today is my lovely wife’s birthday; thanks to the “born on this day” feature that runs right next to the Baltimore Sun’s comics section, we now know that it’s also Beetle Bailey creator Mort Walker’s birthday as well! (Who says the newspaper isn’t any good for anything anymore?) I wish that today’s Beetle Bailey were more auspicious to celebrate this fact; instead, it just demonstrates that the soldiers at Camp Swampy are so incompetent that their only value to the military is as experimental test subjects.

Gil Thorp, 9/3/09

In just three panels, Duncan Daley has established himself as the single coolest guy in Milford, with:

• His Sonic Youth t-shirt
• His single hoop earring
• His carefully calibrated ambivalence about everything (“It was cool, I guess”, “I guess I pumped a little iron,” “I guess I’ll continue gracing you with my low-key awesomeness”)
• His not being named “Robb” or “Brock”

Of course, Duncan isn’t that cool on any kind of absolute scale, but the bar is set exceptionally low. I mean, he’s competing against Brock (or Robb, I guess), who, in the third panel, seems insanely eager to track down some cold beers and punch them in the face.

Garfield, 9/3/09

Ha ha! Garfield has left the bloody, half-eaten corpse of a household pet in the refrigerator!

Spider-Man, 9/3/09

Ha ha! Doc Ock is going to “get” Spidey from behind with his “tentacle”!