Post Content

Baldo, 8/10/11

It took me a moment to figure out that Baldo is supposed to be embarrassed by his family’s ludicrous outfits. I at first assumed that his father subscribed to some religion that operated in a way that was exactly the opposite of most religions and actively opposed shame on general principles. “Baldo, why do you cover your thighs with your sinfully long shorts? Why do you not show the world your package, like I do in my Speedo? It’s what God wants!”

Judge Parker, 8/10/11

You probably don’t remember, what with the exciting last four months of Judge Emeritus Parker getting everything he wants with no effort on his part, but our gal Sophie has a bit of a romantic conundrum, what with there being a boy that she wants but can’t have because he likes some other girl better. Abbey urged Sophie to study the problem in her analytical, borderline Aspergers way, and now she appears to have come up with a solution. Doesn’t she look like a happy young girl in love with a plan to win over the object of her affection? Sure, if taking out the young man and his girlfriend and all of her other classmates in a hail of bullets counts as “winning.”

Mary Worth, 8/10/11

I’m delighted by how much grown-up Gina’s head in panel one looks exactly the same as little-girl Gina’s head in panel two. I certainly hope that whatever family drama we’re about to see unfold involves her parent’s secret horror and disgust at their daughter’s adult skull, perched unnaturally atop her child’s body.

That dinner scene sure is an accurate depiction of life in a cramped New York apartment, what with everyone sitting around four inches from various items of bedroom furniture.

Ziggy, 8/10/11

I was about to make some comment about how Ziggy’s parrot is a paranoid schizophrenic, ranting about how “they” were secretly tracking his every move, but then I realized that it’s really much more likely that Ziggy’s the crazy one, and this is a Son of Sam like situation. “No, he’s the one who told me that they were CIA agents! He’s the one who told me they had to die! Say something!” “SQUAAAAK” “See! See!”

Gasoline Alley, 8/10/11

Sorry I haven’t been keeping you up to date with the pulse-pounding action in Gasoline Alley! I’ve been nervous that it might just be more excitement than you can handle.

Post Content

Dennis the Menace, 5/20/11

Ha ha, Dennis knows the score! “Mom, this $2 patty of Grade F meat smeared with American cheese and non-fancy ketchup certainly isn’t anything that would be improved if I savored it. You’re supposed to wolf it down as fast as you can so the fat triggers all the pleasure centers in your brain extra hard! That’s what it’s for!”

Apartment 3-G, 5/20/11

I honestly have no idea what eerie bouquet-holding superstition Paul’s mom might be referring to, but that makes me as dumb as Lu Ann, so I’m going to not think about it and instead admit that I’m also not sure why exactly Paul’s mom is so keen to take pictures of our happy couple. I guess it could be because they’re supposed to be all dressed up for the wedding, but Paul is wearing a suit and tie, just like all men in the A3Giverse do constantly, and Lu Ann’s hideous bridesmaid’s dress in completely invisible under her all-encompassing coat. (That coat, by the way, is an instance of this strip accidentally depicting a garment that a young person in New York in 2011 might actually wear, although Lu Ann doesn’t seem like the spend-too-much-at-a-vintage-clothing-store-in-Park-Slope type.)

Gasoline Alley, 5/20/11

Five years ago, Slim tried and failed to feed his grandson to the bears. He’s not going to let another opportunity slip through his fingers!

Post Content

Dennis the Menace, 4/24/11

Let’s start Easter with a little bit of theology! In the throwaway panels, Dennis appears to flirt with a rejection of the idea that a human institution is necessary to mediate between humanity and God. Nevertheless, upon actually going to church, he proceeds to taunt Mr. Wilson over the latter’s spotty attendance over the year. Mr. Wilson fumes nastily over the wrath that Dennis will encounter on the Day of Judgment. The conundrum thus proposed seems to be: Whom would God favor? One who, like Dennis, offers worship to the Lord in the approved fashion, only to go home and wreak all kinds of devilish mischief; or one who perhaps does not take communion that often, but who at least upholds the divine commandments, if only because of his sullen refusal to leave his house or do much of anything else? Mr. Wilson can take comfort in I Samuel 15:22: “And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice.” Since the obedience under discussion here was a divine order to exterminate the tribe of the Amalkites, this should dovetail nicely with that killing spree one assumes the tightly wound Mr. Wilson has planned.

Gasoline Alley, 4/24/11

Speaking of theology, our minister here should perhaps spend more time working on his metaphors, as I don’t think it’s really a good idea to compare God to the collapsing airline industry, which has cut back on the little perks of flying, charging nickel-and-dime fees while cramming ever more passengers into aging aircraft; the monopolistic utility corporations, which belch pollution into the air while jacking up electricity rates; or to prescription medication, often rushed to market by profit-driven megacorporations with deadly results. I guess people like greeting cards and scotch tape alright, though, right? I mean, not enough to worship them or anything, but still.

Dick Tracy, 4/24/11

If you were somehow worried that the new author-artist team behind Dick Tracy would downgrade our daily dose of violence of horror, I think you can rest easy now. Baddies vaporizing cops while declaring that they love “roast pig” isn’t even the most unsettling thing on display today; that honor of course goes to the terrified medical personnel fleeing whatever nightmarish creature longtime Dick Tracy fixture B.O. Plenty (reading Spittoon Quarterly, God bless him) has sired on his poor wife.