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Archive: Gasoline Alley

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Children, animals, etc.

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Gasoline Alley, 9/7/23

Hey, remember the human baby who was abandoned in the woods and rescued by a talking bear? Well, the bear viciously bared his teeth when he found out that the authorities were coming to arrest the baby and take him away forever! But then he had it explained to him that there are different kinds of “authorities,” and these were the kind that care for children and try to reunite them with their parents. Problem solved! He should go back to doing bear stuff now, I guess.

Judge Parker, 9/7/23

“We’ve been talking about all that nonstop for days! Mostly I wanted to talk about how we were supposed to have sex on the trip but then never did. Anyway, do you have 20 minutes?”

Family Circus, 9/7/23

I really enjoy how contemptuous PJ looks here. He doesn’t know how to talk, but if he did, he would be hissing “Jeffy, you idiot, that cat does not like our house, he is shitting” through gritted teeth.

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Animal nightmares (non-Pluggers edition)

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Gasoline Alley, 8/26/23

Hey, remember the bear in Gasoline Alley who can talk? Well, he found a human baby abandoned in the woods and brought him to the ranger station for safekeeping. Today we learn that he’s “heard” of angels but doesn’t know much about them, which implies to me that while bears in the GasAlliverse are sapient and can talk, they don’t have eternal souls that live on after death. Some real unsettling implications there if you think about it!

Dennis the Menace, 8/26/23

Margaret is showing Dennis was a true menace is: she’s not only irritating Mr. Wilson, but breaking the fourth wall and confronting the comics’ aging readership with the fact that the late 1990s were 25 years ago.

Marvin, 8/26/23

Imagine if your house was burning down, everything you own going up in flames, but one of the firefighters who’ve come to help has to sheepishly tell you that they can’t hook their hoses up until a bunch of dogs finish pissing. That’s life in the Marvinverse, Where Piss Comes First™.

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Thursday quickies

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Gasoline Alley, 7/20/23

Look, I’m not saying I’m in favor of the Machines declaring themselves “superior” and then forcing us to consume medications of an unspecified variety. What I am saying is, maybe we should let them start with Rufus and Joel just to see what we’re up against before we really start working to get the resistence up to speed.

Beetle Bailey, 7/20/23

Look, I’m not saying that Beetle and Miss Buxley’s relationship is definitely a sexless sham meant to deflect curiosity about the orientation of the former and deflect male attention from the latter, and that Beetle can’t even be bothered to maintain consciousness when they spend time together. What I am saying is that it’s interesting that Miss Buxley, a woman who wears a little black cocktail dress and pearl necklace to work every day, has now decided to start dressing like this on their dates.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/20/23

“Like riding a bike right through man’s eye, ha ha! Anyway, he’s blind now.”