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Gil Thorp, 7/12/24

The beloved Gil Thorp bonfire tradition has been cancelled forever due to a nationwide wood shortage, which means we must console ourselves with a somewhat more recent and less beloved tradition, the Coach of the Year awards banquet (or “COTY,” as insiders call it). Two years ago Gil won it, and last year he won it again. This year the “most improved” award has gone to Gil’s former nemesis/current assistant, so all signs point to our hero taking the COTY home for a third year in a row. I think it’s nice that they’re letting him give it to himself this year.

Gasoline Alley, 7/12/24

I forgot to mention, there’s a new cute cat in Gasoline Alley that Gertie found and brought to Walt! You can see he’s already getting adjusted to his role in this strip (coquetteishly mugging to the reader as the human characters make extremely uninteristing wordplay at one another).

Marvin, 7/12/24

Sorry my intrusive thoughts about toilets yesterday got me distracted from the important thing here, which is that Marvin is doing a very depressing series of strips where dogs talk about all the things they’ve done wrong in their lives and can’t stop thinking about.

Shoe, 7/12/24

Do birds eat cicadas? Well, according to a post called “Circada Bird Feast Protocol” on the friendtocicadas dot org blog, which seems like an extremely reputable source, yes! So, sadly, this conversation is actually about how this boring little town will soon be beset by famine.

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Mark Trail, 7/2/24

You can make your old-school soap-opera comic character as hip and bestubblèd and “nu-look” as you want, but you will never be able to avoid the twin questions (which inevitably overlap, but do not necessarily have matching answers) of “How old is this person supposed to be?” and “What generational cohort is this person supposed to belong to?” The current Mark Trail involves Mark and Rusty encountering a group of ne’er-do wells-who are polluting Lost Forest by taking old electronic equipment like fax machines out into the woods and busting it up with baseball bats, for fun. They call themselves “The Grungey Boys,” and the fact that neither Mark nor the aforementioned Boys recognize that this is itself a perfectly serviceable insult (certainly more cutting than “scummy”) just tells us that they’re Gen Xer with fond memories of “grunge music,” which Rusty would only know about from the Nirvana t-shirts his little friends buy at Hot Topic. (I suppose the Grungey Boys are also inspired in their whole deal by Office Space, another Gen X touchstone about how having a job is bad and it’s fun to destroy electronic equipment, two sentiments that, as a Gen Xer myself, I agree with.)

Gil Thorp, 7/2/24

Oh, Gil, it wasn’t you holding her back. It was her job as Coach Mrs. Coach Thorp, guiding the Lady Mudlarks to mediocre results just like you did for the boys, and once she ditched out on that it was smooth sailing to golf glory for Ex-Coach Coach Thorp’s Ex! She’s apparently gone back to her maiden name now, and I think it’s funny that the local print newspaper got that piece of information so late in the layout process that when they switched the name in the headline they accidentally put it in the wrong font and didn’t have time to fix it.

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Gil Thorp, 6/26/24

It took me a long time staring at the the first panel to put together what’s going on here: Gil’s new squeeze Beth was a server at some instance of “the awards” when Mimi and her new girlfriend were in attendance (not sure when this was? not last year’s Jack Berrill Coach of the Year, I don’t think); having already decided to make Gil her own, she memorized the wine preferences along with all other relevant data points about every woman there within two degrees of sexual separation from him. But now, she has moved from mere waitress to girlfriend, achieving victory, and can get wet and eat after midnight, if you know what I mean! Triumph is Beth’s! Triumph! (“The world of heterosexuals is a sick and boring life,” Mimi’s girlfriend says sadly as the two take their leave from this overt and frankly upsetting display of man/woman love.)

Beetle Bailey, 6/26/24

Beetle is, of course, a dedicated somnophile, ready to sleep in any situation, social niceties be damned. It’s bad enough that he flaunts his ways in the newspaper where children can see, but today we’ve learned that Miss Buxley is ready to follow his example and join him in his sick lifestyle.

Alice, 6/26/24

It’s been 30+ years so I can admit that it always bothered me a little that in some X-Files episodes the mysterious entities they encountered would be sci-fi things like space aliens and in other episodes they were horror things like vampires. Now, of course, I was willing to overlook it there because Mulder and Scully were beautiful and real and my friends, but Alice has not built up that level of goodwill with me and I will not accept the proposition that these weird little green guys are aliens but also ghosts. And literary ghosts at that, from “A Christmas Carol!” (That’s an 1843 novella by Charles Dickens, if you haven’t heard of it.)