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Archive: Gil Thorp

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Tuesday is for eating problems

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Gil Thorp, 2/25/25

Keri Thorp has been struggling with an eating disorder, and apparently their therapist has recommended equine therapy. Did you know that horses are prey animals? Did you know that some clinicians believe that you can overcome the psychological issues associated with eating disorders by channeling your “inner wolf”? Did you know that the Milford teachers union negotiated a very generous health insurance package for its members, with particularly comprehensive mental health coverage for educators and family members? Step 1: You get to know horses and their weaknesses in a controlled environment. Step 2: You’re parachuted into the Mongolian steppe. Step 3 gets a little messy but I think you can see where we’re going with this.

Judge Parker, 2/25/25

Wow! That sure sounds interesting! If only this were a visual medium, and we could’ve seen some of that action, instead of just seeing other people reacting to it and then hearing Sam Driver describing it while staring manfully into the middle distance. Maybe we’ll also learn third-hand how this 100% illegally obtained evidence entered the official record of Anne’s case, if we’re lucky!

Herb and Jamaal, 2/25/25

Herb commits any number of sinister deeds during the course of his day, and can only live with himself by dissociating at night, as if all that evil were the fault of someone else entirely. It’s sad, it really is!

Pluggers, 2/25/25

Man, I always thought one of the perks of being a plugger would be a blissful lack of self-awareness and self-reflection, but I look at this plugger’s face! He is reflecting upon himself pretty hard and does not like what he’s become aware of as a result.

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“Guy with glasses looks at cop,” exactly the sort of front-page photo that grabs the reader

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Gil Thorp, 2/19/25

Gil Thorp of course always deals with teen issues both of-the-moment and timeless, and there’s one of the latter type that I don’t think we’ve seen before, which is the phenomenon of the Horse Girl. We’ve actually been in the middle of a wrestling-themed story for the past few days so I’m not sure if this is a classic Thorp-style abrupt transition to the spring B-plot, which will involve the intensely competitive and hitherto undocumented Valley Conference equestrian tournament, or if Valley Conference wrestling follows WWE rules and allows unorthodox techniques like riding a horse into the ring. Either way, I’m looking forward to learning more about this young athlete who loves Silver in a way that the Lone Ranger never could.

Heathcliff, 2/19/25

It’s very true that you can’t judge a book by its cover. There really are people out there who appear to be ordinary, solid citizens — collared shirts, flattop haircuts, the whole nine yards — and yet behind closed doors full-on bathe in meat, like absolute freaks. Only animals with powerful noses can identify these sickos!

Dick Tracy, 2/19/25

Today’s Dick Tracy really has a lot to say about contemporary journalism. Sam reacts with irritation and impatience to Dick’s attempt to explain the corpsenapping background to him: “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he says, thrusting a broadsheet into Dick’s face. “I know all that, I read about it in our constitutionally protected free press, ever heard of it?” But in the final panel, a local citizen refers to “tottering Tribune towers,” a reference to the fact that Chicago’s largest newspaper was forced into bankruptcy by vulture capitalists and is now part of a hedge-fund-owned chain that’s increasingly starved of resources. (The tower in this case is metaphorical, as the real one was sold and converted to condos in 2018.)

The Lockhorns, 2/19/25

Cases in divorce court almost never involve jury trials, of course, which means that Leroy lied to Loretta about having jury duty and convinced her to accompany him to the courthouse just so he could do this bit. Ironically, this just shows that he’s willing to put in the work to keep their dysfunctional marriage fresh and interesting.

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Love is … somewhere. Not in the air necessarily

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Mary Worth, 2/14/25

Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody! Mary Worth would like to take a break from Dawn’s romantic crisis to show you what real love looks like: it looks like two old people who haven’t experienced drama or conflict or strong emotions of any kind in years going to the same restaurant they always go to and then maybe home for six to nine desultory minutes of hand stuff.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 2/14/25

Speaking of romance, I’ve decided to duck in to Mother Goose and Grimm again and discovered that Mother Goose’s love life is in a tailspin. Did her boyfriend Hiram leave her for her hairdresser? Has she decided to go to the bar the two of them used to hang out at together to find a new lover? Can birds and humans have sex, in the world of Mother Goose and Grimm? Do birds have teeth there? Do dentists see patients in their own homes, rather than an office dedicated to the practice of dentistry as they do in our world? Has Mother Goose, a bird, put in false teeth specifically to attract the sexual attention of this handsome human dentist? Honestly lots of questions here that I’m not sure any of us are prepared to learn the answers to.

Gil Thorp, 2/14/25

Oh yeah, I’ve been lax in keeping you up to date on Gil Thorp developments, which are as follows: Mudlark semi-superstar Rodney Barnes agreed to let some students make a short documentary film about him, and he came across like a real egotistical jerk in it, so now everybody hates him and won’t pass to him. I like the last panel here, and I assume we’re supposed to imagine “I’m open” echoing sadly as Rodney realizes the enormity of his various blunders.

Dennis the Menace, 2/14/25

Dennis, this is just deep stupidity that would make every single Keane Kid — yes, even PJ — ashamed. The only person you’re a menace to is … yourself.