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Gil Thorp, 4/16/11

“Besides the heater? Are you talking about the pitch in panel one that violates the rules of space and time, passing right through the batter’s body without harming him? Becuase I think that’s pretty much enough, don’t you?”

Mary Worth, 4/16/11

“And what I want right now is cocaine, for my tiny, tiny spoon! Don’t happen to know where we can get some, do you, Doc?”

Apartment 3-G, 4/16/11

“This is amazing, Dan! You have a whole recording studio, right here, in your recording studio!”

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Gil Thorp, 4/2/11

That’s right, Gil’s priorities are pretty well known, and they generally involve being a smug, lazy, obstinate, and ineffective by turns. Thus, just to show up Mimi for implying he’s a goody-goody, he’s going to blatantly show favor to his star pitcher. Probably everyone’s going to be mad and there’d be a way to soothe that over, but, enh, it’d be hard, so whatever.

Blondie, 4/2/11

The “sale” being closed here, of course, is the sale of a new human victim to this monstrous mattress-beast, which has an insatiable hunger for human flesh.

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Mark Trail, 3/30/11

I’ll say this for Mark Trail: he makes no pretense of being acquainted with hip narcotics lingo, thus sparing him any rock vs. dope embarrassments. No, those squarish bales are just drugs of some kind, and that’s all he needs to know. Now he’s going to set it all on fire, which should be awesomely hilarious. Only Mark will avoid the contact high, by sheer force of rectitude.

Mary Worth, 3/30/11

“More to the point, how much longer are you going to be masturbating to my ‘men’s workout’ plausible-deniability porno mags? Damn it, I need those! They’re all I’ve got! You know Mary won’t let me use the Internet!”

Gil Thorp, 3/30/11

It’s come to our attention that nobody cares about the folksinger girl plot, and for some reason we feel obligated to do a musical plot, so here, here’s the exact same Slim Chance plot that happened last spring. Did you find that one tiresome after a few months? Well, too bad, it’s going to happen again.