Funky Winkerbean, 7/18/08
“What I’m trying to say is, will you wear this bald wig tonight? I’ll pay you!”
Gil Thorp, 7/18/08
“I think I’m drifting in the Sea of Cortez someplace, and I need his help getting ahold of the Coast Guard down here.”
Mary Worth, 7/18/08
“Like, now? Can we make another go right now? Because I think if I have to look at this orangey glop for one more second, I’m going to throw up.”
Gil Thorp, 7/17/08
While it’s true that the U.S. military was under intense pressure to come up with an “outside the box” solution that would bring the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan to successful conclusions, “colossally misguided” was one of the kinder things future strategists and historians would have to say about the decision to deploy the Milford Mudlarks against the Taliban.
Apartment 3-G, 7/17/08
Desperate to stay relevant and solvent in a rapidly changing society, the League Of Wandering Eastern Holy Men signed a three-year contract with Hallmark to deliver all of their gnomic advice and warnings in greeting card form.
Judge Parker, 7/17/08
Sam surveyed the scene and had to be pleased: the dunce-capped lawyers from Dewey and Cheatem stood with their heads slumped, reciting their bourgeois, parasitic crimes against the proletariat in a soul-broken monotone, so that $50,000 advance couldn’t be far off; plus, the peasants who were occupying the newly nationalized golf course were well on their way towards meeting their five-year-plan goals for steel production.
Spider-Man, 7/17/08
I was going to make a “surrender Dorothy” joke here, but then I realized that Dorothy Gale showed courage, loyalty, and initiative, and in no way deserves to be compared to Spider-Man — except in the sense that she defeated her nemesis by accident, which is probably the best that Peter Parker can hope for.
Slylock Fox, 7/14/08
My deep and abiding affection for Reeky Rat has been captured on film, so there’s really no point in denying it any further. Today’s strip is awesome not because he’s rear-ending soft-hearted hippos (though there is that) but because of his stunning fashion choices. We’ve previously seen Reeky in trailer park casual and nothing at all, but today he’s gotten all gussied up, wearing his best fringed vest and no doubt spending hours and a lot of product getting his pompadour fluffed out to epic proportions. The question is, where could Reeky possibly be going that might require this level of sartorial sophistication? My guesses are “uncomfortable visit to babymomma’s parents” and “court appearance.”
Archie, 7/14/08
I don’t normally encourage Photoshoppers to turn objects in innocent family comics into bongs, but there are some days when you just have to run with what they give you.
Gil Thorp, 7/14/08
“You know, the way that Mr. Vargas thought that by the time Elmer finally found out the truth about his immigration status, it wouldn’t matter. Woo-hoo! Web of lies high five!”