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Dennis the Menace, 6/7/06

Yeah, your grandpa pretty much sounds like a loser, kid. I’m all for good sportsmanship and everything, but if you go around telling your friends stuff like this, I think you are pretty much permanently banned from referring to yourself as a “menace”.

9 Chickweed Lane and Pluggers, 6/7/06

If you had asked me this morning which two features would be using the same joke today, this is not a pairing I would have come up with.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/7/06

Rex looks increasingly agitated as this strip progresses. “God damn them and their medical mumbo-jumbo! Impersonating a doctor is turning out to be a lot harder than I thought. OK, what am I going to do if one of them asks me a question? There’s got to be a way to change the subject of this conversation to ice cream.”

Gil Thorp, 6/7/06

What’s wrong with him? How much time do you have, exactly, Coach?

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Gil Thorp, 5/30/06

“For the love of Christ,” you’ve probably been saying for weeks, “What in God’s name is going on in Gil Thorp?” Well, the sad answer is: not much. We’ve been treated to two or three boring storylines involving surly teenage athletes that have been getting in the way of what we all really want: more of Brent Raptor’s mom. But today’s strip promises big moves in that department. The lady rounding out this coachy foursome joined our cast of lovable misfits last summer, when she used her feminine wiles to get Milford grad/polka disc jockey Von to take care of her little stalker problem. Now she’s going to take on the She-Raptor, which heralds another wacky summer in Gil Thorpistan. Does the “horizon broadening” she has in mind involve getting avocado facials together at the local day spa, or forcible kidnapping at knifepoint? Tune in to find out! I find the whole prospect positively delicious.

Wizard of Id, 5/30/06

Can I admit something to you all? Since I started reading the Wizard of Id on a regular basis last month, I’ve found myself sort of enjoying it some of the time. Admittedly, my expectations coming into it were set very, very low, though this hasn’t enhanced my appreciation of Crock, which I took up again at the same time. The Wiz by my estimation is funny maybe a third of the time, which is a lot better than some strips I could mention but won’t because it would be deeply embarrassing for them.

Anyway, today I had the realization that the installments of this strip I like the best are the ones involving the stablehands, whose conversation inevitably revolves around horse feces and the shoveling thereof, and, in the larger sense, the level of degradation that this brings into their lives. Make of this what you will.

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For Better Or For Worse, 5/9/06

YAHHHH! ZOMBIE SEX! THE WALKING DEAD, THEY WILL MAKE LOVE TO ONE ANOTHER! NOOOOOOOOO!

Gil Thorp, 5/9/06

Damn, Coach, you got served! I love the fact that she closes the door just so she can deliver her cutting commentary through it. In fact, I’m loving Mrs. Raptor and her bizarre hair more and more every time she appears. Maybe if we all start writing in letters of appreciation about her, she’ll get her own strip, called Millicent Raptor Will Crush Your Soul.

Curtis, 5/9/06

Gunther … Rose Petal … Curtis … I hate to interrupt this little domestic drama, but your abuse of quotation marks today has attracted the attention of someone. What’s that you say, Finger-Quotin’ Margo?

Let that be a lesson to you!