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Mary Worth, 4/30/22

Yes, Toby and Ian certain seem to have a good marriage, Mary! Say, remember the time Ian made Toby pretend to cook dinner for his boss while she was trying to work on her art show so she briefly left him and had to lay low at your place until you got tired of that and convinced her to go back? That’s definitely the sort of thing that happens when you have a strong relationship bond! Unlike you and Jeff, who barely speak to one another.

Gil Thorp 4/30/22

Speaking that of things that are good and strong, check out Kaz’s mullet! Truly resplendent. Resplendent and unmoving. Seriously, that swoop is holding at an almost identical angle in both panels one and three, just king of hovering off his neck in the latter. Has he hairsprayed it so vigorously as to render it immobile? Or is the whole thing just an elaborate styrofoam headpiece?

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Gil Thorp, 4/29/22

Folks, you know a Gil Thorp plot is kicking into high gear when you get a close-up on some teen’s sweaty face, sweating due to equal parts athleticism and anxiety! Anyway, Nomar urges Gregg “G-Hamm” Hamm (shouldn’t that be GG-Hamm? GGG-Hamm?) to “keep an eye out” for that umpire, but of course Gregg is near-blind and can’t keep an eye out for anybody! Don’t worry, though, with that magical pitchin’ flipper hand that we’re just now getting a look in panel three, he doesn’t need to see anything. The flipper does all the work!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/29/22

Hey, uh, I don’t want tell a pair of hardened pair of lowlife criminal scumbags how to do their jobs, but: have you guys heard of guns? Just saying, if you’re worried about a guy with a broom cramping your style: guns. Look into them and thank me later!

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Gil Thorp, 4/25/22

We all know the sad story of Gregg, the pitcher who secretly can’t see. Now we’re learning that his dad desperately doesn’t want to be seen. Is there a correlation here? Is the father secretly slipping blinding pills (?) into his son’s meals so he can live the unperceived life he dreams of? Is Gregg spending all day staring into the sun as an act of love for his dad? This is Gil Thorp’s weirdest and most byzantine family drama yet!

Daddy Daze, 4/25/22

I’ve never parented a toddler so I might be getting outside my lane here, but … like … he’s a toddler, man. Or a baby? Honestly I’m not sure where the dividing line is and where the magical Daddy Daze child lands in relation to it, but, still: Did you really expect him to catch a frisbee? I honestly would be very much less surprised by a baby trying to carry a frisbee in his mouth than I would be by a baby actually catching a frisbee. I can barely catch a frisbee.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/24/22

“Haw haw! My marriage is in a shambles!” [everyone’s tongue lolls grotesquely]