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Gil Thorp, 9/19/20

Good news, everyone! The annual Milford bonfire, which began in 2007 and faithfully recurred every single year over and over and over until it abruptly stopped, only to abruptly be revived last year, is back on its annual schedule. Sure, we don’t actually see any flames today, but the important thing is that we know it’s happening, and we’re sure seeing some sparks — namely, some dude seeing childhood pal Becca Ramirez in a whole new, presumably romantic, light; and newbie Corina Karenna thinking about arranging her own bonfire for the volleyball team, probably by burning down the school.

Pluggers, 9/19/20

Pluggers are hulking, monstrous chimeras, half man and half beast, and their bestial genes result in them towering over puny full-blooded humans. Obviously they can’t fit into normal cars, and it’s honestly insulting that you would even try to sell them one.

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Curtis, 9/9/20

It’s devastating when a relationship you thought was heartfelt turns out to be transactional, especially when it’s with your own child. Dennis the Menace could take master classes from this little fucker.

Gil Thorp, 9/9/20

Gil waves off an impending homicide. A man’s gotta commit to be this half-assed.

Heathcliff, 9/9/20

Heathcliff Moves On, part XLV. Cat’s gotta travel.

Luann, 9/9/20

The red crystal “attracts love,” for dumping in the fish tank. The blue one “emits peace,” for throwing at Luann.

I always feel better after my obligatory Luann post; it’s like walking out of the dentist’s office.

— Uncle Lumpy

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Dennis the Menace, 9/2/20

Dennis using some gross small animal to drive away Margaret, who has only ever wanted to love him, is the typical level of menace we expect from this strip. However, the fact that he’s dressed in an extremely fancy magician’s outfit to do it, complete with bow tie and pocket square? It’s dorky enough to seem less menacing on the surface, but speaks of a commitment to the project that is in fact quite menacing indeed.

Gil Thorp, 9/2/20

And speaking of bodies, despite the fact that we’re living in the futuristic year 2020, we’re still trapped in our sad meat prisons, forced to lift slabs of metal endlessly over a period of months just to gain a slight advantage on the football field where we slam our flesh-husks against one another, risking permanent damage in the process. Imagine the day when we’re able to upload our minds into a virtual world, freeing ourselves to exist as beings of pure thought! Imagine how transcendant our competitions will be then! Mudlark football is a mere placeholder until that blessed day, a pale shadow of what is surely to come.