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Mary Worth, 5/9/24

Dawn is reconnecting with her Connecticut WASP mother by attempting to enjoy high-prestige social pursuits like the ballet. Wilbur, meanwhile, has reacted to his brutal romantic rejection by descending into unkempt couch-based schlubdom. This is an experience Dawn knows a little bit about herself, so no matter how annoying she finds her mother’s culturally elitist suburban clique, she should be thankful she’s not being pulled back into that morass.

Hagar the Horrible, 5/9/24

It’s sad, of course, that Helga has no friends she can confide in. But thanks to her husband’s canonical illiteracy, she can confide in her books to her heart’s content. It’s like being able to scream in a language he doesn’t speak, constantly!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/9/24

Rex Morgan is about to face his most terrifying medical challenge yet: his family’s emotions, which he’s apparently supposed to care about. Remember that crazy guy who wanted Rex to do a little experimental brain surgery on someone in an attempt to “cure crime“? He refused then, but now seems to be contemplating whether he could “cure feelings that require attention from me” using nothing but his trusty power drill.

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Gil Thorp, 5/6/24

Milford has its own Native American reservation and, we learn today, its own institution of higher learning. Soon, having accrued all the necessary components of a robust civic life, this high-school sports crazed town simply won’t need the rest of the United States. That’s when Phase 2 begins.

Hagar the Horrible, 5/6/24

“Let me explain! The castle’s main sewer drains into the moat. You probably already have cholera!”

Mary Worth, 5/6/24

Wow, it looks like Meagan didn’t just smooch that waiter to help purge all Wilbur-related thoughts from her mind; she actually wants to see if he’d be a good fit for a long-term relationship! I certainly hope that she, like everyone Wilbur has been even obliquely romantically involved with, invites him to her wedding to really rub his face in it.

Hi and Lois, 5/6/24

That’s … that’s what everybody likes about working form home, Hi. That’s one of the main reasons why people like to work from home!

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Shoe, 5/2/24

Yeah, man. Giant bird with prehensile hands and opposable thumbs? Wears clothes and plays guitar? Not part of any Earthly biome I’m familiar with. Real fucked up if you ask me.

Dennis the Menace, 5/2/24

“My dad is a ventriloquist dummy” is kind of a stretch as a menacing burn in my opinion, but it at least offers an explanation of why he dresses like that for once.

Hagar the Horrible, 5/2/24

The central joke of Hagar the Horrible is of course that the characters act more or less like modern people even though they live in Viking Age Scandinavia, but every once in a while the strip does a “keepin’ it real” installment where we learn that, for instance, Hagar and Helga’s modest dwelling is infested with vermin.

Mary Worth, 5/2/24

“…being that I’m a foodie of sorts!” [pops yet another featureless brown cuboid in his mouth and swallows it without chewing]