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Judge Parker, 5/10/26

There have been hints in this strip that Judge Parker Senior is slipping away into alcoholism or maybe just dementia, and … look, he’s kind of an asshole, and sure, Katherine seems to be on top of his apparent disappearance as this strip opens, but you have to imagine that she leaves those keys where he can find them even though she shouldn’t, and, well, maybe today’s the day when he’s going to drive into a wall and she’ll be rid of him and, since his kids are themselves both kind of assholes, get that money. It turns out that he was just making a sandwich, though! Oh well.

Hagar the Horrible, 5/10/26

Despite my endless attempts to parse the anachronisms of Hagar the Horrible, I do of course realize that the anachronisms are key to the jokes, like the mix of the modern concept of a “hospital” with our vague ideas of ancient medicine here. Anyway, today’s punchline is whatever but I think “Take those leeches out of here! I’m not a blood buffet!” is very funny! A hearty chuckle was had, by me.

Mary Worth, 5/10/26

“I know many people who are smart, successful, resourced, but because of loneliness, they throw almost everything away for an illusion! Now imagine how loneliness would affect a dumb, poor failure!” [SMASH CUT TO: MEANWHILE, TOMMY BEEDIE WEEPS]

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Gil Thorp, 5/7/26

See that girl in the second panel, sort of squinting at Gil and Coach Gerads in the middle distance? That’s me, trying to parse the order of their conversation. “I guess my invitation got lost in the mail.” “It’s invite-only, coach.” “I know, I said, I guess my invitation got lost in the mail.” “And I said, it’s invite-only, coach.” They could go on like this forever. Anyway, I thought I’d give you a glimpse of Coach Gerads’s dumb outfit, if that’s the sort of thing that amuses you (I admit it does me).

Mary Worth, 5/7/26

Oh my god Tommy isn’t spiraling into crisis because Brandy dumped him, he’s in crisis because she went on a trip without him! He meant “left” literally, in the sense of physically moving out of his immediate vicinity! This is simultaneously one of the funniest and saddest things Mary Worth has ever done, which is an impressive achievement in a srtip that stars Wilbur Weston.

Hagar the Horrible, 5/7/26

Hagar has killed so many people, you guys. So many! Almost none of them deserved it! They were just trying to defend themselves when he was robbing them!

Pluggers, 5/7/26

Hey, now, pluggers aren’t “smart”! You almost had me there for a minute. They aren’t “devices,” either, as most devices are engineered at least passably well.

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Hagar the Horrible, 4/27/26

Big news, everyone! A new named character has been added to Hagar the Horrible, and he’s a servant/butler type named “Charles” with weird swoopy hair and a suit jacket but also a short unhemmed tunic/skirt situation going on. Probably we won’t ever see him again, but, I dunno, they gave him a name! Maybe we will! Who knows!

The Phantom, 4/27/26

Big news, everyone: There’s a new Phantom story starting that’s launching with a bang — a grey alien wearing a suit is flying in a private jet from Washington, D.C. to Guantanamo Bay — and while probably it won’t ever really live up to that opening image, you have to admit it’s the most incredible opening image any of the soap opera strips have given us in quite a while.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 4/27/26

Big news, everyone, and it’s not good: Grimm, the beloved title character from the syndicated newspaper comic strip Mother Goose and Grimm, hungers for human flesh.