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Mary Worth, 4/5/23

Ah ha, we’ve finally arrived at the big dramatic twist in this storyline: Estelle has to convince Dr. Ed to go to therapy! I look forward to the next several weeks in which she gently overcomes his emotional reserves and lets him know that admitting he needs help isn’t a sign of weakn–oh, wait, what’s that? He said he’d be into it literally the first time she mentioned it? Ah. Well. I guess I look forward to the next several weeks in which he tries to figure out if Estelle’s therapist takes his insurance.

Family Circus, 4/5/23

Look, Dolly, I get that your whole job is saying the darnedest things, and there are only so many darnedest things available to say in the relatively limited space of a Family Circus caption, but I feel it’s very important that you not imply some kind of appliance vore fetish scenario here, because this panel will get posted in some web forums that none of us will be comfortable with.

Hagar the Horrible, 4/5/23

I think there’s something of a divide between people who say “fucking” to mean any kind of sex stuff generally, and people who say it to mean specifically p-in-v or -a intercourse. We know Eddie’s had a longtime romantic relationship with a mermaid, and today I guess we’re learning that this relationship’s sexual component has fallen into definition one but not definition two above — at least so far. I mean, that’s what this strip’s about, right? The prospect of penetrative sex with a mermaid? It’s not a strip with another joke that also slyly makes reference to “how exactly would it work for a guy to stick his dick in a mermaid?” Like that’s pretty explicitly what this one’s about?

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Blondie, 3/14/23

Normally, the purpose of Blondie is to deliver laughs to comics lovers everywhere assure its readers, who are on average shockingly old, that their instinctual distrust and loathing of any novel cultural or technical developments from the past three decades are well founded. Unfortunately, today’s strip misses the mark, as pickleball is a trend that is almost entirely driven by Blondie’s core demographic of semi-active seniors. Ironically, this makes the exchange here, in which a couple of fortysomething guys express bewilderment about it, sort of loop around back to making sense again.

Beetle Bailey, 3/14/23

Big news, everyone! The good folks at Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC have become aware of the existence of app-based food delivery services! Based on today’s strip, they definitely think that they’re just restaurants that you can use your phone to order food from, but it’s a start.

Hagar the Horrible, 3/14/23

Ha ha, it’s funny because the physical injuries Lucky Eddie has suffered in combat pale in comparison to his mental and spiritual trauma, yet his supposed best friend Hagar is positively gleeful at the thought of sending him back into battle!

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Blondie, 3/10/23

Newspaper comics version of horseshoe theory: when new-look Mark Trail and eternally old-look Blondie come to the same position on cryptocurrency and the blockchain.

Gasoline Alley, 3/10/23

Say what you will about Gasoline Alley, but it absolutely nails the experience of having a long, rambling, irritating conversation with an old person that goes nowhere.

Hagar the Horrible, 3/10/23

In terms of “comic strip wives that might be interested in a three-way,” I wouldn’t have put Helga at the top of the list, but to be honest I wouldn’t have put her at the bottom either.

Hi and Lois, 3/10/23

I’ve never had a large enough home to be blessed with my own man cave; are they for … masturbating? Is that what you guys are doing in there? Jerking off? That’s sure what I’m getting from today’s Hi and Lois!