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Blondie, 2/21/22

You all hopefully know my strong feeling on putting a hat on a hat, which is to say combining two jokes together in a way that each of them detracts from the other. Well, I am afraid that comics are at it again, in this regard! The idea of Dithers building a golden idol to himself is … well, not funny, per se, but is a perfectly acceptable joke-like Blondie punchline. Meanwhile, the thought of Dagwood’s cranky old boss becoming obsessed with 3-D printing has the potential to be actually funny, like if we really saw him getting into it, but since we don’t, this is an Elmo wants to save his bitcoin to buy a drone-level “have you heard of this technology?” joke. Anyway, two crappy hats on top of each other don’t make a good hat. Also, is that statue gold? I’m pretty sure you can’t 3-D print with gold.

Hagar the Horrible, 2/21/22

Look, Hagar, the whole thing about being a Viking is that you sail far away from your icy Nordic home and seize loot from from the wealthier and weaker kingdoms in Europe, then come back to live high on the hog. You don’t steal from petty nobles who live on the next fjord over, and this is exactly why!

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Mary Worth, 2/7/22

OK, I’ve been agitating for a while for another Toby and/or Ian storyline, so I’m hoping that today’s strip heralds a transition to a glorious Toby and/or Ian storyline and isn’t just another opportunity for someone else to react to Wilbur by chuckling “Ha ha! That’s our Wilbur!”

Assuming this is, in fact, the end Wilbur Winter and the beginning of a Cameron Springtime, I feel like we’re laying some good groundwork with this sad little birthday party for Toby, which is taking place in the Camerons’ frankly cramped living room, where the spread consists entirely of a bottle of champagne and three muffins, with the only attendees being Mary and Wilbur. I guess Wilbur and Estelle haven’t made up enough for her to be his date to this shindig, eh? Or maybe she just never cared for Toby. Either way would make perfect sense, to be honest. Too bad Toby has literally no other friends to invite! Not even anyone from the downtown art center! Overall the whole party is clearly a disaster, and that’s going to take a lot of emotional unpacking for Toby, which I anticipate that Ian will be unwilling and frankly unable to help with.

Crankshaft, 2/7/22

True old-head Crankshaft readers remember that, years ago, there were a bunch of rowdy kids on Crankshaft’s bus who he called “the rough riders,” and one day he promised to pay for their college education if they would just shut up and leave him in peace, which they did, and which he mostly forgot about until they reminded him right before they graduated, so he cashed in his retirement savings to fulfill his vow, which I guess is why he’s still driving a bus for a living despite being a million years old. Anyway, Ed’s never been what you’d call a pious man, but in light of all that I suppose it shouldn’t be too surprising to see him beseeching whatever higher power may be to please let him have some paid time off of work, just for a day or two.

Hagar the Horrible, 2/7/22

I’ve always thought it was kind of odd that there aren’t any strongly defined recurring characters in Hagar’s warband other than Lucky Eddie, but it only occurs to me now that this is maybe because they all get killed on a regular basis and he has to find new people to replace them.

Dennis the Menace, 2/7/21

TIRED: Ha, that Dennis sure is a menace! Why won’t he leave poor Mr. Wilson in peace?
WIRED: DON’T 👏 TALK 👏 TO 👏 CHILDREN 👏 ABOUT 👏 YOUR 👏 BOWEL 👏 MOVEMENTS

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Family Circus, 1/30/21

Shoutout to Big Daddy Keane’s mom for pulling a true mother-in-law power move here. “Oh, is my son annoying you? Do you want him to die? Is that what you want? You want to be a widow like me? Duly noted, dear, duly noted.”

Dennis the Menace, 1/30/21

“Henry, I know all we usually ever talk about is your idiot kid, but you do you ever think about how we’re all going to dead someday, and soon? Like, ever really think about it?”

Panels from Hagar the Horrible, 1/30/21

As we continue the saga of how the syndicated Hagar the Horrible comic strip relates to the Christianization of Scandinavia, we learn that one guy who’s really sticking by the old gods is Lucky Eddie. And he’s being real unpleasantly showy about it, honestly!

Mary Worth, 1/30/21

YES

FINALLY

THIS IS IT

THE MOMENT EVERYONE FINALLY GETS SICK OF WILBUR’S SHIT

I love that Mary is so mad that she’s storming out of her own apartment