Heathcliff, 1/12/13
Heathcliff enjoys eating actual putrefying garbage, much to the disgust of humans.
Lockhorns, 1/12/13
As Leroy is all too well aware, the Lockhorns’ friends are prepared to unleash a hail of bullets on both of them with very little provocation.
Pluggers, 1/12/13
WHAAAT A PLUGGER DRIVING A FOREIGN CAR BUILT BY ACTUAL COMMUNISTS HERESY UNCLEAN
Archie, 1/2/13
This sick burn on Mannequin 2: On The Move and/or soulless corporate control of all media was probably more pointed back when the strip first ran in the early ’90s, when Mannequin 2: On The Move was a recent memory and we hadn’t yet resigned ourselves to soulless corporate control of all media.
Crankshaft, 1/2/13
The sad, love-starved souls in the Funkyverse think that gently resting your back against somebody else’s back qualifies as “cuddling.”
Heathcliff, 1/2/13
Heathcliff’s owner has lost a bet to his cat, and because they’re not allowed to bet for money, he’s now subject to humiliation and physical abuse on his own front lawn.
Shoe, 1/2/13
Biz’s old buddy Zeke is going to die soon.
Ziggy, 1/2/13
Ziggy is sick and tired of working so hard to prevent his animal friends from killing each other.
Marmaduke, 1/2/13
Translation: WWHOORRRR WHOOORRRRORRR HORROR HORROR KILL KILL I WORSHIP THE DEMON BLOOD GOD BELOW
Heathcliff, 12/23/12
Ah, Christmastime … a period of punishment and rewards from a monstrous cat-deity, if I understand the theology properly. And so, just as I will spank you (i.e., not update the site for the next week or so as I make my annual Hanukwanzmas journey, minus the Hanu- part because Hanukkah was super early this year), so too will I eventually give you delicious cheese (i.e., start updating the site on the 1st or 2nd of January or thereabouts, whenever I recover from my holiday stupor and start looking at the Internet again). Until then, enjoy your holidays! Or, you know, don’t, see if I care.