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Beetle Bailey, 6/25/11

The unfunny absurdity of Sarge and Cookie angrily pelting each other with meatballs doesn’t even deserve comment; I am, however, mildly charmed by Beetle and Killer’s decision to really get into their roles as seconds in this duel and dress up in dueling-era Ye Olde Garbe. Also, have we ever really seen any kind of relationship between Killer and Cookie? This seemingly random selection of a second says a lot about the cook’s sad, friendless life.

Herb and Jamaal, 6/25/11

Pride’s still a sin, right? GOD CAN SEE YOUR THOUGHT BALLOONS, REV.

Apartment 3-G, 6/25/11

Oh, look, Margo waited a whole five minutes before mercilessly mocking Lu Ann’s beliefs! I’m pretty sure this is her version of being a good friend on Lu Ann’s birthday.

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Family Circus, 5/12/11

I suppose the joke here is supposed to be kind of the flipside of the Mother’s Day installment; both have at their core the sad fact that the Keane Kids are semi-feral slobs who would, if not for Mommy’s constant attention, live in their own filth. But I’d like to believe that we’re seeing a progression here from Sunday’s episode: after the unseen fiasco of her very special dinner, during the course of which every single meticulously arranged outfit was in short order coated with a viscous layer of ketchup and boogers, she just decided to give up entirely. What we’re seeing here is the nicest outfit that Billy has left only a few days after his mother stopped grooming him. Soon the kids will be lurching around the house in gunny sacks (lurching because nobody will bother cutting out arm or leg holes for them).

Herb and Jamaal, 5/12/11

Ha ha, Herb, your daughter has no time for your weak and ancient Semitic sky deity! She will only offer prayers to her awesome and majestic insect god!

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/2/11

Ack! I haven’t been keeping you up to date on the doings in Rex Morgan, M.D.! Long story short: the evil strip club owners lured Dex to a hotel where they’re holding him captive, and now they’re planning to hire a safecracker to break into the Morgans’ clinic and steal the winning lottery ticket. Dex has the bad fortune of being held in the only hotel in America where the doors to the room can only be locked and unlocked from the outside; fortunately, though, his captors made the mistake of locking him in the only room in the hotel with a window.

Slylock Fox, 5/2/11

Those tiny prey mammals are right to look nervous. Once the predators find them guilty of trumped-up charges based on circumstantial evidence, they’ll be sentenced to immediate death by devouring. All the while, Max Mouse stands guard at the door, the Uncle Tom.

Herb and Jamaal, 5/2/11

The antique that Jamaal is holding panel three is a perfect metaphor for both Herb and Jamaal, since it’s bizarrely shaped and serves no apparent purpose.