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Mary Worth, 11/8/10

So why exactly does Adrian put up with Jill pushing her around again? Last week I suggested that it might be because Adrian derives unseemly enjoyment from being pushed around, but we can’t ignore the possibility that it’s just a result of wholly justified fear of violent consequences. After all, today’s strip makes it clear that Jill is in fact a terrifying giantess, looming a full head taller than the normal humans around her, who will always obey her lest their bones be crushed to make her bread.

Like many freakish mega-hominids, Jill is a bit behind the times when it comes to fashions. Jill, simple, low-key designs are what all the snobs are after these days. You aren’t seriously pushing Adrian towards some kind of curlicued frippery, are you? If you’re going to be supercilious, you’ve got to stay on the cutting edge of modern tastes, or you risk becoming ridiculous — more ridiculous than a giantess in a stationery store is normally, even.

Herb and Jamaal, 11/8/10

I like how put out Herb looks in the final panel here. Come on, Jamaal, just because you never talk about the sex afterwards doesn’t mean you have to pretend every time that you’ve never done it before.

Mark Trail, 11/8/10

So Saturday’s excitement resulted from a deer leaping into the road, sacrificing herself to save Mark’s life? Huh. I don’t think any of us were expecting that, although not so much in a “what a surprising but satisfying narrative twist!” way but rather in a “SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL” way.

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Herb and Jamaal, 8/23/10

For years I have criticized Herb and Jamaal for being hilarious and ludicrously non-specific, but perhaps all this time I’ve been on the wrong track. Perhaps the strip is lousy with overlong descriptions of items and concepts not because of a horror of the concrete, but because of an aversion to brevity, with the author suffering from some strange compulsion to write each sentence in as many words as possible. Thus, Herb can’t just say “I hate the way women gossip”; he has to bump it up to “I hate the way this show typifies the way women gossip,” even though doing so makes it seem that Herb is really upset about misogynist representations of women’s communication styles in mass media, thus making him an inappropriate target for his wife’s righteous ire. I notice that there’s actually room for another line of text in that first-panel word balloon, so I’m surprised we didn’t take things out to another level of abstraction. Maybe we could have gotten into some metacognition, like “I’m really surprised by how strong my hateful reaction is to the way this show typifies the way women gossip” or something.

Marmaduke, 8/23/10

“Yes, nothing makes our evil dog hunger for human souls more than the mention of his greatest enemy, God. But since God is all-creating, He created Marmaduke; doesn’t this make Him unworthy of our worship?”

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Dennis the Menace, 7/31/10

I suppose that it’s mildly menacing that Dennis refuses to join any sort of square, organized group like the Boy Scouts. More menacing still is Mr. Wilson’s even grumpier than usual expression. Now revealed to be the leader of a uniformed paramilitary organization, he plots to use his army of children to purge the neighborhood of “undesirable elements” (i.e., the Mitchells), once and for all.

Herb and Jamaal, 7/31/10

This strip is like a “Goofus and Gallant” cartoon explaining how to be on the down low. INCORRECT WAY TO DEAL WITH THE AFTERMATH OF A DRUNKEN 3 A.M. BOOTY CALL: “That phone call I made last night, that never happened, right? Eh?” CORRECT WAY: Pushing it deep, down into your unconscious mind, so that even you can’t remember it, except in your dreams.