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Hi and Lois, 8/12/18

In this fallen age where we’re all overworked and underpaid and comic strip revenue is dropping and endless digitized archives are out there for the reuse and remixing, I’m always slightly suspicious that anything I’m looking at as a comic strip could be a rerun with new dialogue and slightly updated art. Take today’s Hi and Lois. Obviously the core joke is very of the moment. And I’m not sure if we’re supposed to understand Chuck Green’s “my” as meaning “I invented this” or “I just downloaded it.” But is there any world where the visual stereotype to go with either of those things is “guy with white pants, spray tan, and shirt unbuttoned to display chest hair”? Anyway, feel free to imagine whatever extremely 1982 hijinks were going on here before the phone got dropped into the panel.

Crankshaft, 8/12/18

Today’s strip, combined with this weird storyline from a few months ago, indicates to me that someone on the Crankshaft creative team has finally noticed that low-margin retail banking is no longer a profit center for financial institutions and that they’re increasingly trying to cut costs through automation. Unfortunately for the financial services sector, they pissed off someone with access to the unparalleled reach of syndicated newspaper comics. Feeling that burn, Big Banks?

Spider-Man, 8/12/18

Shout-out to Peter Parker for taking time out of his busy being-tied-up-and-ineffectual schedule to notice that Suwan has a feisty nature and a great ass. “Oh, yeah! Shake that thang while you argue with your uncle! Daddy like!”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/12/18

Thanks for putting quotes around “Elvis,” Rex Morgan, M.D., narration box! Without them, we might’ve briefly wondered if we were looking at the real Elvis Presley, and that would’ve been exciting, or at least interesting!

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Dennis the Menace, 7/25/18

Not menacing: Whispering some dumb pun to your wife so Dennis can’t hear

Menacing: “Get shot in the back of the head and then we’ll talk, kid”

Pluggers, 7/25/18

Pluggers remember the days when red-blooded American men worked good-paying tin-mining jobs, before the globalist cabal used their secret government influence to favor their own aluminum conglomerates!!!!! (NOTE: I have not even bothered to do the minimum Wikipedia research to determine if the U.S. even has tin mines, please do not bother telling me)

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/25/18

“Whoa whoa whoah. A good new restaurant? I don’t think anyone said anything about it being good.”

May Worth, 7/25/18

“No problem! Groceries are my thing!” –A man currently holding a bag full of groceries with a huge, obvious hole in the bottom of it

Hi and Lois, 7/25/18

OH NO, TRIXIE FIGURED OUT WHERE MEAT COMES FROM

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Hi and Lois, 7/22/18

Hello there! Do you have opinions about non-representational modern art? Well, if you’re a syndicated cartoonist, why not put them in the mouth of an innocent child, of the age whose aesthetic judgements we often deem to be “pure” rather than “extremely naive?” I enjoy the fact that Dot is rolling her eyes at Ditto in panel one; she finds his ignorance staggering and depressing, but apparently feels no shame about her own diatribe about how degenerate modern art is an insolent mockery of the Divine under centrist rule, a deliberate sabotage of national defense, and a depiction of nature as seen by sick minds.

Family Circus, 7/22/18

I’m not sure what the joke here is, but a good way to get an actual pre-verbal toddler hurt is to have him just wander the streets by himself, unsupervised!