Hi and Lois, 8/17/15
Huh, I always wondered what Lois’s skeletal, mostly noseless face reminded me of:
Anyway, Lois is trying to kill her husband, I guess, for his birthday!
Crankshaft, 8/17/15
Remember when the State Fair was a place of excitement and family bonding? Now you just walk around in sullen silence. Even the carnies look depressed.
Pluggers, 8/17/15
Considering how big that pill is, pluggers should probably be taking some kind of eyesight pill, too.
Hi and Lois, 8/10/15
Oh, man, I’m so glad we get to share this most special moment between a parent and child: the moment where childish bullshit stops being humored. “Look, dad, I made a whimsical, silly thing for you, based on my limited understanding of your grown-up interests!” “Wow. Wow. This variation on golf and bowling you just made up? It’s not practical at all. It certainly doesn’t sound like much fun. And this so-called ‘rule-book’ is just four sheets of paper that you didn’t even bother stapling together. This is a God-damned disgrace, son. I’m just going to let the muscles of my hand go slack so this nonsense flops down onto the floor. It’s certainly not worth getting up and walking all the way over to the garbage can for.”
Beetle Bailey, 8/10/15
The Army has long refused to take the very real problem of Beetle Bailey’s constant physical abuse at the hands of his superior officer seriously, and I’m not sure what’s more insulting: that somebody told Beetle that they had set up a special number to report abuse when obviously no such thing exists, or that they didn’t even bother making up a fake number with the right number of digits.
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/10/15
Haw haw, Doc, Snuffy’s already laughin’ at your joke, Doc, so it looks like you won’t even have to tickle him! It almost makes up for the fact that your clinic in this impoverished rural community can’t afford any actual medication!
Hi and Lois, 8/7/15
Vaguely Punk Rock Drummer’s concerns about his coolness factor maybe should be focused closer to home, considering his bandmates are a guy in sailor cap and law school t-shirt and a guy wearing a cowboy outfit and sunglasses indoors.
Momma, 8/7/15
This bank manager is sweating for very good reason, as he has a completely fruitless afternoon of trying to explain how mortgages work ahead of him.
Shoe, 8/7/15
“Ha ha, here’s a hilarious dad joke I just thought up!” –a supposedly magical wizard who you hoped could solve the huge, catastrophic problem that looms over our society, but nobody can solve that problem, nobody but us, and we certainly aren’t going to do it