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Gil Thorp, 5/6/24

Milford has its own Native American reservation and, we learn today, its own institution of higher learning. Soon, having accrued all the necessary components of a robust civic life, this high-school sports crazed town simply won’t need the rest of the United States. That’s when Phase 2 begins.

Hagar the Horrible, 5/6/24

“Let me explain! The castle’s main sewer drains into the moat. You probably already have cholera!”

Mary Worth, 5/6/24

Wow, it looks like Meagan didn’t just smooch that waiter to help purge all Wilbur-related thoughts from her mind; she actually wants to see if he’d be a good fit for a long-term relationship! I certainly hope that she, like everyone Wilbur has been even obliquely romantically involved with, invites him to her wedding to really rub his face in it.

Hi and Lois, 5/6/24

That’s … that’s what everybody likes about working form home, Hi. That’s one of the main reasons why people like to work from home!

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Hi and Lois, 5/5/24

I guess the point of this strip (to the extent that any given Hi and Lois comic can be said to have a “point”) is to shore up the Walker-Browne brand and remind American that the Camp Swampy gang and the Flagstons’ suburban hellscape coexist in a single universe of shared IP. Personally, I’m more intrigued by the comic book time effects: when the strip launched in 1954, Lois presumably had a birth date that would’ve put her roughly in the same demographic as her grandmother in the middle second row panel here. But what really makes this for me is Ditto looking cruelly at the cookie jar and whispering that delightfully batshit sentence at it, simultaneously erotic and threatening, the sort of thing that, if your parents overheard you saying it, they’d repeat it to every romantic partner you ever brought home for the rest of your life, to your mounting distress.

Beetle Bailey, 5/5/24

Elsehwere in the FlagstBaileyVerse, Killer is making a dating app profile! As much fun as the main body of the strip makes spinning a web of lies in an attempt to attract some hapless young woman seem, I must point your attention to Killer’s look of beaten-down resignation in the first throwaway panel. Being the most oversexed soldier in your unit is a job, and Killer is determined to be good at it, but like every job it wears on you after a while.

Mary Worth, 5/5/24

Maybe Killer doesn’t need to put so much work into this, though. After all, if the person you meet on the apps turns out to not be for you, you can always just smooch the nearest attractive service worker to fulfill your natural romantic needs! (Just kidding, if Killer tried this today he would immediately be arrested, because of woke.)

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Mary Worth, 4/29/24

Nothing but respect for this old man, who continues to mentally use some truly obscene epithet to refer to Wilbur even while acknowledging he saved his life. He knows Wilbur wasn’t trying! He’s still a @&^$!

Hi and Lois, 4/29/24

The way Hi is gingerly holding just the corner of that tape between his thumb and forefinger tells me that it contains the most vile pornography that you can possibly imagine.

Dennis the Menace, 4/29/24

Dennis, those words both rhyme with “grumpy?????” If your goal was to menace me by sending me into a spiral of extreme bafflement, congrats!