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B.C., 5/13/25

Remember a few months ago, when I criticized Mother Goose and Grimm for doing a take on the classic Far Side “I’m a cowboy!” vulture joke that was much, much more graphic and grim? Well, that strip looks downright cuddly now that we have one of the B.C. guys (yes, I know they have names, I do not know which is which and I will never put in the effort to learn) on his hands and knees in front of a skeletonized grazing animal of some sort, next to other scavengers, eyes glazed over, with big strips of rotting meat hanging from his mouth, while one of the other B.C. guys reacts in anger and horror at the animal he’s become.

Hi and Lois, 5/13/25

Look, in general I support perverts doing their thing, but you shouldn’t drag your nonconsenting realtor into it. “Hee hee, I wonder what the ghosts in this house will think when they watch us have sex, powerless to stop us because their spectral form cannot affect material reality!” Sickos. I hope you get outbid by BlackRock’s real estate arm making an all-cash offer.

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Dennis the Menace, 5/4/25

OK, obviously I was going to object that “Sunday school was awesome today!” is possibly the least menacing thing Dennis has ever said, but then I got to the big reveal of what he learned about: the pre-existence of souls, which was very explicitly anathematized by the Second Council of Constantinople in AD 553. Last I dwelled on the question, I had decided that the Mitchells were high church Episcopalians, but apparently they’ve since fallen in with some kind of Origenist cult.

Hi and Lois, 5/4/25

Not sure if some diktat has gone out to the comics to do jokes about how fun it is to read the comics in the newspaper, as God intended, but I feel like today’s entry has been undermined by Chip’s legitimately exasperated attitude. You’re making a disaster of the fridge, Hi! It’s embarrassing when he brings girls over! Why not just add your favorites to your bookmarks on Comics Kingdom dot com, like a reasonable person?

Crankshaft, 5/4/25

Ha ha! Get it? April showers … bring May flowers? Get it???? Anyway, I hope these guys recognize Crankshaft’s many sins and choose to punish him with exile from the colony, or perhaps even hanging.

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Hi and Lois, 4/24/25

I love that Hi has absolute faith that Ditto, despite not having shown any great baseball prowess in this strip to date, will eventually become an elite athlete capable of competing at the highest level of his chosen sport, but he’s still deeply worried that he’ll be one of those big leaguers who drinks most of their salary and loses the rest of it in ill-advised investments promoted by their buddies and has to do the county fair autograph circuit well into their old age to survive.

Six Chix, 4/24/25

Big news, everyone: It’s the year 2025, and Six Chix finally did a comic about getting high! I mean, I guess a lot of Six Chix strips are subtextually about getting high. Like remember the series of strips about the gal who had sex with a giant sandwich, then got got cucked by the sandwich, then went to a pizza orgy? In retrospect, that sequence was almost certainly getting-high-adjacent, at the very least. But I feel like this is the first one where they come right out and say it.

Wizard of Id, 4/24/25

Hey, kids, are you familiar with the King in the Wizard of Id, whose main defining character design feature is that he has a comically large nose? Well, apparently his nose is (was?) big because he’s … old? Which makes your nose big? You learn something new every day, I guess.

Mary Worth, 4/24/25

“I guess if she doesn’t come around, it means you weren’t so terrific after all, ha ha! Anyway, let’s meet up this weekend for some absurdly large salads, if your dad’s girlfriend hasn’t killed you yet.”