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Archive: Hi and Lois

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To be fair to Lois, the lawn appears to be strewn with debris

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Hi and Lois, 3/22/25

“Wow, my wife/mother sure is a BALLBUSTING HARPY” is one of my least favorite genres of domestic comic strip, but I gotta say, Hi and the kids can’t have been talking for more than, what, 10-15 seconds here? And Lois is already demanding they return to their assigned manual labor tasks. She is being unreasonably intense about this, I think we can agree.

Judge Parker, 3/22/25

Big news: Sophie has requested, and apparently been granted, a cushy job helping run her rich boyfriend’s family firm’s charity arm. She just needs to know a few things first, mostly that, like pretty much every charity arm of a rich family’s privately held company, she’ll mostly be doing money laundering and tax evasion stuff, and occasionally writing four-digit checks to whatever crackpot cause some of the wackier relatives are into. You’re cool with that, right Sophie? That’s where your heart lies, pretty much?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/22/25

Doc Pritchairt is in fact very much not a dentist. Not sure if getting him to swear an oath is going to mitigate that fact, but honestly it couldn’t hurt (unlike his attempts at dentistry, which are going to hurt quite a bit).

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Romantic troubles

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The Phantom, 3/20/25

The Phantom, it is my task to occasionally remind you, is actually a 22-generation long chain of fathers and sons who each take the role of the Ghost Who Walks in turn, who arrived in southern Africa from Europe back in [waves hands vaguely] the pirate era, and who have perpetuated themselves by continually sending away for European or European-descended brides. But one of the very long- and slow-running ongoing storylines in the strip is about how the current Phantom’s son Kit will probably be the first to break this chain of racial purity. He’s not going to marry one of the Bangallans that his family has lived among for centuries — let’s not go nuts — but will probably end up either with the local girl who’s mooning over him as he studies Phantom stuff (?) at a monastery in the Himalayas, or with Kadia Sahara, born the daughter of one of the Phantom’s longtime nemeses but now a foster daughter of the weird Walker clan. Anyway, the thing I like most about today’s strip is that container ship cruising by in the background as Kit’s sister Heloise, a Kadia partisan, boasts to her mother (via some kind of bespoke video messaging app, the screen branded with the Phantom’s famous skull mark) about the beach-based meet-cute she’s just arranged. The huge vessel reminds us that, despite all these superheroic breeding machinations, the quiet miracle of global commerce soldiers on.

Mary Worth, 3/20/25

Check out the contemplative way Dawn is regarding that apple in the second panel. Sure, she missed her musical duets with her dad while he was away; but now that she’s eaten the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, she realizes that inflicting Weston karaoke stylings on an innocent and unsuspecting public is wrong, and must be stopped for the good of mankind.

Pluggers, 3/20/25

Hi is experiencing a plugger-like loss of sex drive in middle age, but as his huge grin in panel two makes clear, he’s not mad about it at all! Remember when he was younger and got distracted by erotic feelings all the time? That ate up valuable time in which he could’ve been working on improving his short game! Thank god those days are behind him.

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Teen faces

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Hi and Lois, 2/27/25

Now, like me, you probably read this strip and immediately recoiled in disgust at the implications: that Chip is in the living room watching pornography on the TV, eyes bugging out and the biggest smile we’ve ever seen on his face, Ditto snitching to his mom about Chip watching porn, his mom saying “He’s 15, he’s old enough to be watching porn, right there in the middle of the living room.” But upon reflection, I’m pretty sure “love scene” is not meant to be taken as a euphemism. Sure, there might be some erotic aspects, but the emphasis in whatever Chip is watching is clearly on the strong emotional connection between two people in a beautiful and mutually affirming relationship. He looks so deliriously happy because his own family is miserable and he’s only now learning that something this wonderful is even possible for human beings to experience.

Archie, 2/27/25

The spit take is a classic comedic bit, but I do enjoy that Jughead is not phoning it in at all here. He looks genuinely disgusted at Archie’s latest romantic crisis; despite the fact that he’s the comics’ #1 asexual/aromantic icon, Jughead sees Archie’s inability to juggle his emotional responsibilities to his two paramours as a skill issue, and holds his friend in contempt for failure to meet the moment.

Bizarro, 2/27/25

You ever think about how someday you’ll die, and maybe afterwards you’ll linger as a spiritual being of pure energy, and also maybe you’ll continue to have some sort of boring office job that involves phone calls that you’ll try to avoid? Better to not think about it too much, as it’s probably not going to make you feel any better about dying.