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Dustin, 9/13/22

You gotta respect (and by “you gotta respect” I mean “you are not at all required to respect, and in fact I’d think a lot less of you if you did”) Dustin’s dad total commitment to the bit, with the bit being that he does not love or like his son and wishes he didn’t have to see or deal with him. He’ll tell anyone! Even people who’ve never met Dustin! I honestly love the salesman’s facial expression in the second panel here. “The fuck, man? I just want to sell you a couch, I did not consent to participate in your family’s psychodrama.”

Hi and Lois, 9/13/22

This may be one of the first ever Hi and Lois strips I can remember that doesn’t depict any of the core cast. I guess we’re supposed to assume that it’s either Hi or Thirsty on the other end of that Zoom call (I mean, Thirsty’s been “quiet quitting” for years) but I think it’d be funnier if Mr. Foofram has been getting in touch with each of his employees one by one, desperate to get someone to come back and keep him company in the expensive real estate he occupies, only to be repeatedly rebuffed, producing that facial expression.

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Gil Thorp, 8/11/22

Inveterate heel Marty Moon has done exactly two nice things in his entire life: in 2008 he pretended to be a kid’s dad so the kid and his siblings didn’t get taken into foster care, and today he defended Gil’s sexual constancy on air. Only Marty gets to talk shit about Gil, new guy!

Hi and Lois, 8/11/22

Love the captain’s facial expression in this strip, though I’m honestly not sure if it’s meant to indicate “Ahh, you’ll get to see some pirates soon, all right … when the pirates I’ve made a deal with show up and take you all hostage, paying me a portion of the ransom like we arranged” or “Wow I am extremely high, good thing it’s making me even better at steering this boat.”

The Phantom, 8/11/22

Oh, hey, uh, they killed the Phantom? The Phantom is dead? RIP the Phantom, 1936-2022, I guess?

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Mary Worth, 8/10/22

A relatively recent and welcome addition to the Mary Worth storytelling canon is the wacky dream sequence, in which the characters confront whatever their current dilemma is in a series of images that are simultaneously hallucinatory and extremely on the nose. Anyway, it’s already Wednesday, so we’d better get full week and half of whatever Weston chimera, half-Dawn and half-Wilbur, is going to be the horrified and horrifying subject of this next nightmare. Not sure if Dawn’s “AUGGGH!” is meant to indicate that we’re already in the dream and she’s beginning to experience the awful physical transformation into Wilburdom, or if it’s just because her lower GI tract is firing on all cylinders thanks to that chili.

The Lockhorns, 8/10/12

Absolutely loving the contrast between Loretta’s whimsical flotation device and her utterly dead facial expression here. Maybe she thought this would get Leroy’s goat more than it actually ended up doing, or maybe she thought they’d both have a little laugh about it. But you can tell that she realized it would just make her look dumb before Leroy even saw her. It was too late to change course, though. A Lockhorn always commits to the bit.

Hi and Lois, 8/10/22

“Ha ha, it’s funny because he’s a known alcoholic, and we’re using beer, the very thing to which he’s tragically addicted, to convince him to take care of our house! We’re drinking wine, because we’re sophisticates. Hey, have you seen the kids? Did we forget to bring them?”