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Crock, 11/14/21

Crock has a long-running bit about how there’s a talking chicken who’s always on the verge of being cooked and eaten by the strip’s Legionnaires, but I don’t think they’ve ever implied before that this chicken has magic powers, beyond the ability to speak English (or, depending on how you think the Crock world-building works, French that’s getting translated into English for the American reading audience). Anyway, for some reason it’s really amusing me to think that the POOF between the last two panels is not meant to represent a genie’s summoning spell, but instead elides a sequence where the chicken manages to procure booze, a fast car, and a willing woman for the fort’s cook through non-magical means, like persuasion or calling in a bunch of favors or something. Would the fact that he’s a talking chicken make these tasks easier or more difficult for him to accomplish? Discuss.

Dennis the Menace, 11/14/21

Based on the title of today’s strip, I first assumed that Mr. Wilson was planning to launch a hip-hop career, and then I saw the WANTED poster and figured maybe we were about to learn that he was a criminal and he’s been on the run from the law this whole time. But no, it just turns out that all of his wife’s friends know he’s an asshole.

Hi and Lois, 11/14/21

Ha ha! It’s funny because nobody in Hi’s family wants to spend time with him, not even his baby!

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Gil Thorp, 11/4/21

The … B? C? … plot of the fall Gil Thorp storyline is that star running back Chance Macy isn’t really interested in the enticements of the many colleges trying to recruit him, which is definitely perplexing everyone around him, including Boyd, who graciously offers to YouTube-hypnotize Chance with a little flashlight into making him want a full college scholarship and also a debilitating series of concussions, but Chance values his free will just a little too much. Meanwhile, it turns out that the faculty member buying into Boyd’s hypnosis theories is the one you’d least expect: Coach Mrs. Coach Thorp, who’s attempting to plant post-hypnotic suggestions into Kiana so that whenever she sees an opponent with a ball in their hands, she’ll fly into a murderous rage and do anything to get it back. Will that actually be helpful for winning volleyball games? Ultimately that’s for the referee to decide, but it seems worth a shot.

Six Chix, 11/4/21

I guess this lady … thinks these butterflies are angels? And that’s why they’re asking if she’s got problems with her eyes? Because she’s not seeing them for what they are, which is butterflies, and also demons straight from the bowels of hell? This has been “Josh tries and fails to interpret today’s Six Chix,” I thank you for your time and attention.

Hi and Lois, 11/4/21

Oh, man, check out Hi’s facial expression in panel two. Lois may not know how dumb their infant daughter is, but Hi is clearly all too aware of the limits of his son’s mental ambitions.

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Dick Tracy, 11/3/21

I know I shouldn’t quibble about “realism” in a strip that features a seedy bar called “Bucket of Blood,” one of the patrons of which is a guy named “Bogart the Roach” who’s dressed like [gestures vaguely at today’s Dick Tracy]. But I do find it very funny that Dick has decided that for this undercover assignment, he’s going to don a hoodie, that sleazy garment worn only by known scumbags like Mark Zuckerberg, and he got one the exact same yellow color as his usual trench coat and fedora. Does this compromise the disguise aspect of the outfit? Maybe, but you have to understand this: it’s his signature color.

Mary Worth, 11/3/21

I have to sincerely apologize for assuming yesterday that Wilbur was rejecting Pierre. If I had given it more than 30 seconds of thought, I would have realized that Wilbur is never the rejecter and always the rejectee in any given social situation. Anyway, I think you should absolutely follow your instincts on this one, Wilbur.

Hi and Lois, 11/3/21

Damn, it’s a good thing that only we are privy to the contents of Trixie’s thought balloons, and that Lois has no idea what’s going on in that weird little head of hers, because otherwise she’d be crushed to learn that she has a stupid baby who doesn’t even understand the basics of how our heliocentric solar system works. Look at that innocent smile on her face! She doesn’t realize at all! It’s sad, really.

Dennis the Menace, 11/3/21

I feel like that is a look of genuine pathos on Mr. Wilson’s face that simply can’t be explained away by his foot being asleep. “I know the doctor said to lay of sweets,” he’s thinking, “but I don’t want to lose my leg! I don’t think I can handle it! Martha! Martha!”