Archive: Hi and Lois

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Dick Tracy, 8/26/24

Someone who’s had some weird romance arcs in his time is Junior, Dick Tracy’s son in the comic strip Dick Tracy. Long ago he was married to Moon Maid, daughter of the Governor of the Moon, and he had a half-Lunarian daughter with her, but then she got blown up by a car bomb meant for him. Later he married Sparkle Plenty, daughter of comical rustics B.O. and Gertie Plenty; that relationship was briefly thrown into turmoil when Moon Maid seemed to reappear, but then it turned out some gangster had modified his hapless girlfriend with Lunarian DNA, and the poor woman eventually changed her name to “Mysta Chimera” and accommodated herself to her new life as a hideous genetic abomination and platonic pal to Junior and his family. However … is there a new contender for his love? How else do you explain that he’s chosen a tastefully glamorous photo of Rikki Mortis, the goth lover of notorious corpse-criminal Abner Kadaver, as his desktop wallpaper? More on this Tracy family romantic drama as it (probably fails to) develop!

Hi and Lois, 8/26/24

One thing I love about legacy comics is how they freeze certain stereotyped images and settings in amber, even when the journeyman artists and writers tasked with churning out the comics are young enough that they themselves only remember them from older comics. One example is the idea, omnipresent in the comics, that upscale fine dining restaurants feature plush decor and white tablecloths; in fact, that hasn’t been true for newer restaurants since the ’90s, and even the old timers have mostly transitioned to the new aesthetics, which are all about high ceilings and hard, industrial-style surfaces. A 2018 Atlantic article that I think about all the time chronicles this transition and points out that the result is a much louder dining experience, which restaurants like because it’s less conducive to sitting around pleasantly chatting and thus increases customer turnover and restaurant profits. Anyway, I was reminded of this today because another aspect of modern restaurant design is that it features large, open, continuous spaces instead of the warren of rooms you might have found in a traditional eatery, so there’s no longer any place to stash the Flagston family where the other, more desirable patrons can’t see or hear them.

Mary Worth, 8/26/24

I dunno, Ed, this seems like a great way to show up at your wedding and discover that the theme is “WHY WON’T MY NEW HUSBAND PAY ATTENTION TO ME????”

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/20/24

Look, I’ve been to plenty of comedy open mics in my time, and the thing you have to keep in mind about them is that they are generally extremely depressing and poorly attended, and the people who do come are invariably all comics looking for a few minutes of stage time who are staring at their phones or mentally running through their sets when other people are performing and who inevitably leave once they get off stage — slinking back home, if they’re lucky, or trying to find another mic, if they’re truly in too deep. Anyway, my point is that you don’t normally see a bunch of people sitting there watching attentively as in panel one. The Glenwood entertainment scene must be truly dire if this many people are coming to see an open mic that allows literal children to perform, and those children are trying to make a genre they’re calling “neo-vaudeville” happen. Are there no roots country concerts these poor souls could be attending instead? Has it really come to this?

Hi and Lois, 8/20/24

It’s pretty funny how exasperated Hi looks in the second panel. Wow, Hi, sorry your kids are taking an interest in your professional life! Although I do think the ribs thing isn’t realistic; it seems more likely that Dot’s initial Google takeaway would be more “Wait, Kansas City is in Missouri? What the heck!”

Hagar the Horrible, 8/20/24

Ha ha! It’s funny because Hagar and his family will freeze to death in the bitterly cold Scandinavian winter!

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Dennis the Menace, 8/15/24

Spent a long time … no, that’s a lie. I spent like 30 seconds trying to figure if there was a “joke” here per se. Like, is it about … ice cream or something? Maybe? Eventually decided that there wasn’t. Mr. Wilson is just feeling better! Maybe he finally got on the right cocktail of psychopharmaceuticals, or maybe he just realized he has it pretty good and decided to rearrange his outlook on life. Either way, good for him!

Hi and Lois, 8/15/24

There’s no joke here either, but that’s par for the course in this strip now, and frankly I’m not complaining, because this is great. The little league team isn’t doing well, and Hi, who probably already feels like it’s kind of a thankless job, just got publicly insulted by one of the kids, while his son looks on in horror. It’s perfect! Keep it up, Hi and Lois!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/15/24

I’ve ruffled a few feathers by speaking some tough truths about comic characters — namely, the truth that the Lockhorns are Millennials. So here’s some more shocking real talk: probably most of you, based on their old-timey attire plus the fact that they look like wizened, ancient gnome-creatures, assume that Snuffy and Loweezy Smif are old people. But that doesn’t add up! As you can see here, they don’t see themselves that way; moreover, they have an infant child, and live in the sort of community where younger parenthood is the norm! We must therefore assume that they are at most 27 years old, and you know what that means: THE SMIFS ARE ZOOMERS