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Funky Winkerbean, 1/21/20

ME FOR THE PAST WEEK: Ugh, I am so irritated by this plot about nice people desparate to make a movie out Les’s book while he pisses and moans about it, can we please move on to literally anything else

ME TODAY, SUDDENLY CONFRONTED WITH THE PROSPECT OF A RETCONNED FLASHBACK TO TEEN NERD LES HAVING NO DOUBT WILDLY AWKWARD AND UNFULFILLING SEX WITH HIS MOST POPULAR CLASSMATE: Ugh, no, go back to the movie, go back to the god-damned movie

Hi and Lois, 1/21/20

“We taped it to the front window to create the illusion of a disorienting pocket universe where different sides of the house face the same direction but look into different timeframes, hopefully confusing and alarming you enough that you’ll just buy the house because you’re afraid you can never escape it. Is it working?”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/21/20

Ha ha! It’s funny because Hootin’ Holler, isolated and impoverished, is ignored by the mainstream financial services industry, and predatory local institutions have stepped in to fill the gap!

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Beetle Bailey, 1/3/20

My favorite person in this little scene is the pizza delivery guy, walking out the door of the barracks with his face utterly without emotional affect. He’s seen how these things go down, how too many families and communities see the sudden arrival of pizza as a panacea, a quick fix to conflict and emotional struggle, only to be quickly disappointed when the true underlying issues aren’t addressed. He’s not interested in sticking around to watch it all play out. He’s got a lot more pizzas to deliver tonight.

Hi and Lois, 1/3/20

The scene: Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC’s writers’ room. The goal: Defeating Marvin, the comic strip about a perpetually shitting baby that is wildly, unaccountably popular. It is very late. The clock is ticking. Tomorrow’s deadline is near. Finally, from the back of the room comes a quiet, hesitant voice: “Vomit?”

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 12/21/19

We all definitely have been enjoying Barney Google’s visit to Hootin’ Holler, this week! You know who really enjoyed it, though, is Jughaid and Li’l Tater, who used to the distraction that Barney provided to do some really, really bad stuff, just like completely evil and unforgivable. Snuffy and Loweezy are never going to know about it, and we’re never going to know about it, but it’s definitely awful. Santa’s gonna know about it, I guess.

Hi and Lois, 12/21/19

Have you enjoyed Hi and Lois running gags like “Trixie has a fully adult mind and yearns to grow up but never will?” Well, you’ll love “The Flagstons have a friendly helper device that’s fully sentient but can’t communicate and is just a mind endlessly trapped and screaming internally!”